Bananas go to law school, too!

Check it out, peoples

2006-12-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

My newest article is posted up at glibberish.com. Check it out!!

In other news, chuggin' away at finals for first semester of 2L year. Trademarks, Corporations & Evidence finals & a Constitutional Land Use paper that needs to write itself over the next two weeks. It can be done, right?

Uhhh, at least they update their blog here...

2006-11-26T18:04:00.000-05:00

So, I guess the second year of law school is "less interesting" than the first. And, for that reason, I haven't been updating. I like to blame this on the fact that I have spent FAR TOO MUCH TIME in law firm offices and, therefore, sucking my delicious delicious creativity RIGHT OUT of me. Such is life, no? Perhaps next semester, when I do NOT have to be in a law firm multiple times a week, I'll have something to say. But, until then, I command you to visit www.glibberish.com. I sometimes write there, but beyond just getting more of ME, you should go there becuase I like to this it's pretty entertaining. It's a weekly bloggie. You will like, yes yes. Until then, happy holidays :)

Mmmhm, gamey.

2006-10-11T14:07:00.000-04:00

I just got back from Trader Joe's in Union Square. Swoon. New foodstuffs. I spent 40 bucks and got three bottles of vitamins, three bottles of spices, pumpkin, bag of frozen broccoli rabe, chicken stock, granola, yogurt, frozen fajita mix with chicken, bag o' wild rice, AND SO MUCH MORE. Including a box of frozen buffalo burgers. Why buffalo burgers, banana, when turkey burgers would suffice? WELL DID YOU KNOW THAT buffalo burgers are higher in protein, lower in fat, and promote the humming of "Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope playyy." At least for me. Which, obviously makes little to no sense because where in that song does in mention buffalo? But, deer, antelope - let's be serious, of all the delicious game meats, buffalo is much more closely linked to those (and therefore that song makes more sense) than, say, the macarena or all come all ye faithful.

I'm just saying.

I can't go to Whole Foods without dropping 50 bucks and getting pretty much a thing of sushi and a bottle of pomegranate juice.

Why is pomegranate juice so expensive? Everyone and their mother (including Oprah, hero) says it's going to save your life, yet it still costs 5 bucks for a medium-sized bottle. Ridiculous. Pomegranate for the People, man.

You want to be jealous of me? (Yes you do). Since September 29th up until today, I have been in class for exactly 2 days. That's it. Two days of school. Have I skipped any classes? Nope! For some reason, the past few weeks have been a festival of canceled-classes-by-way-of-professor-airport-troubles, high holidays and celebrations of Columbo. Or Columbus. But, seriously, Columbo should have his own holiday, that crazy cat.

From the Dead!

2006-10-10T00:19:00.000-04:00

Back, people. A little respite for the weary, perhaps. Or just being lazy and half-afraid. But now that the ole' job search is over, I'm back (from outer space, I just walked in to find that look up on your face. I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you give the key...whoa, sorry). I'll write more of substance IN DUE TIME (for all negative two of you still out there), but, in the meantime, entertain yourself immensely and go see The Departed. By far, hands down, one of the best movies I've seen in my short little lifetime. Sigh. SO GOOD. I'm still thinking about it and trying to tell everyone I know to run out and see it.

So there. Run out and see it :)

Lemon-Lime!

2006-09-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

In terms of "bad timing," spraining your ankle the day before a four-day strech of three callbacks is high on the list. I don't think I've ever sprained my ankle this badly before - my ankle was the size of a lemon on Friday (now it just looks like I have a bad club foot). And I almost fainted on the way to my bedroom Friday afternoon because it hurt so bad, but realizing that a sprained ankles AND a concussion would be even worse form for the ole "job search," I just curled up in the fetal position in the living room.

But now, at a nice clip of 24 advil a day, I can walk! But I can't wear heels, which means I'm going to be sporting fancy flats for most of these interviews, and I just can't get over how much less professional I look wearing them. But I'll get over it, obviously. Unless it's actually broken and then I WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN!

Bazam!

2006-09-12T22:14:00.000-04:00

I was all set to write about the new Law & Order CI tonight that I am claiming was ripped-from-the-headlines from the Chris Porco story, but I don't really know how to write about it without being offensive or otherwise "in bad taste." So there, my statement, my claim, boom. Game set match.

Anyway, wierd couple of weeks that I'm glad are over -- back into the swing of things here at the ol' law school. I kinda hate two of my classes. One of them I won't mention by name (you know, you know, me trying to be all anonymous). [upon further review. i won't rip off the Simpsons with a lame joke. I am minorly paranoid about ruining my life with this idiot blog] There we go. Nice & anonymous.

But yea, it's the most ridiculous class that I ever could imagine. Honestly. Sometimes I think to myself: "This can't be happening." But it is. And I'm there. For instance, our professor is going on vacation in a few weeks. So we need to hold a make up class. So WHEN DOES EVERYONE DECIDE TO HOLD IT?

Friday night. 6PM - 8PM. I'm no crazy party animal. But there are RULES OF LAW SCHOOL. And the first rule is: No Class on Friday for 2Ls and 3ls. I am taking six straight hours of class on Tuesdays simply to accomodate such a desire; nay, need [Also, I don't have Monday classed. Shh. Don't tell anyone]. Oh no, but they have OUTDONE THEMSELVES. What's worse than a generic Friday class? A Friday evening class. Seriously, shoot me.

MOREOVER!

I would be able to tolerate a Friday evening class if, in fact, it was mildly interesting. HOWEVER! It is not that the subject is "uninteresting." It is not that the professor is "bad," even. It is the fact that for the past three weeks we have literally read ONE case. One. Uno. Jeden. I can't handle it. And our assignment for next class: "Now, let's go back and really read the case. I'll be asking you lots of tough questions."

I'm not legal nerd (um. yes i am. constitution team unite!). But still, at this point in my illustrious legal education, I just want to be challanged a little bit. I don't need crazy professor with tons of hypos and random cold-calls. But, really, for the sake of my brain, I need to read more than one case a month.

Sigh. I have a huge, maddening, law crush on a certain Mr. Elliot Stabler (i.e. Christopher Meloni). Sigh. Swoon. SWOOOON.

In other news, Lindsay & Kara & I went to Astoria over the weekend (An Outer Borough! Shock! Awe!) and had a grand old time. We ended up at the Beer Garden out there after a housewarming party for someone we didn't know. But we brought beer, so we were welcome guests. The laws of social physics DO exist in the Outer Boroughs! Fact!

Diet Dr. Pepper; More like Diet Dr. AWESOME

2006-09-03T14:28:00.000-04:00

First week of 2L - finito! It was a busy one, and one which was marked with less-than-reliable internet service, which will explain the lack of updates. However, week in review:

Classes:
I lucked out with a four day weekend every week. No Monday or Friday classes. This could go one of two ways: 1) I spend my four days off holed up in the library, preparing for three intense days of classes where I am primed and on POINT or 2) I spend my four days off considering going to the library but instead realizing that sleeping in and watching The View is more fun.

Choice 2 would be easier but, considering that I made the perhaps-stupid decision to take Evidence & Corporations in the same semester, I can't let it happen. Which is why you find me here, in the library, on a Sunday. Three cheers for Banana.

I like Evidence, I like Trademarks, I'm hoping to like my Land Use class (hasn't really started yet) but I just can't get my mind around Corporations (yet). Which is why I am here, blogging instead of trying to organize my thoughts around Agency and Authority and other Things I Do Not Understand. In due time. Maybe it'll pull a CivPro and I'll fall madly in love with in two weeks before the final.

Employment:
I had my first callback last week. Went well. Aaaaaand, that's about all I'm going to say about that because the last thing I need is this blog to bite me in the bum later. Although I did pull a very-cliched dropping-spaghetti-sauce-on-my-shirt at a firm cocktail thing. Because, seriously people, you can't give me free booze and expect food to go IN the mouth. However, clever placement of my oversized nametag made it seem as if NOTHING HAD HAPPENED! Cheers!

Other things:
I am very much looking forward to the week of the 18th -- season premiere of America's Next Top Model & Grey's Anatomy, season finale of Project Runway, Wine Night, a callback at a firm I'm mega-excited about, AND EVEN MORE THINGS THAT ARE GREAT AND AWESOME. So, until then, I might be mellow yellow --- but that week will rock :)

Yawn

2006-08-28T00:19:00.000-04:00

2L starts tomorrow! Terror! Excitement! This weekend went out with a bang - hitting up The District with a whole crew of college buddies. More details will follow. But right now I'm way tired from traveling for 10 hours this evening because apparently the Chinatown bus driver doesn't actually know the way from DC to NYC. He needs to Mapquest that shit.

But, very little time to sit and relex -- tomorrow I have my first class AND callback. Which is horrible scheduling on my part, but I want to kinda get them over with and be able to relax (hopefully) about next summer & hopefully-terrific employment. A part of me makes me really, really, really want to skip class and just get notes later but that would be IRRESPONSIBLE. And that is clearly the farthest thing from myself.

I have a very bad feeling that 2L will be busier than 1L.

I need to take like 15 showers to wipe the bus-grime off of me. Ew.

Now, with more words.

2006-08-22T00:35:00.000-04:00

So, today I met with my "advisees" - a small group of 1Ls with whom I can share all my wisdom. Essentially, it boiled down to: don't let Professor Flip Flops frighten you, don't do anything for Legal Process and Examples & Explanations are the best study guides out there. I also gave them a ridiculous tour of the law school where I vaguely pointed in the direction of the registrar and showed them how to print from the public computers. Who's the BEST TOUR GUIDE EVER?

In other news, Early Interview Week will be over in approx 18 hours for me (no Wednesday interviews, sweet!) I've had interviews that have run the gamut from people who CLEARLY hadn't read my resume and didn't care to learn about the awesome-ness that is The Banana and others were we just talked about Grey's Anatomy the entire time and had a great time. So, really, lesson learned: My entire professional career will be dictated by the ever-so-random pairing of me & my interviewer and whether or not he enjoys Katherine Heigl as much as I do. Killer.

Happy Birthday to....THIS RIDICULOUS BLOG

2006-08-21T23:18:00.000-04:00

A year?!? It's been a year?!?! Yes, it has. As I have been in law school or preparations thereof for a year, this law school-themed blog, too, has been around for as long. So, instead of me telling you about OCI stuff (which I am pleased with its progress, thank you for asking and, no, I probably won't tell you any more details), it's gonna be a little blast-to-the-past post for your nostalgic pleasure.

Law School Year One, Redux

I hated it in the beginning.
But then I kinda got into it, like the proper nerd I am. And then realized that finals were coming.
I met "study group", awesome awesome study group.
But I kept in touch with old friends too.
I got angry at condiments and dairy products
I drank. I drank quite a bit. I was a bit of a lush, huh?
I didn't just drink booze.
No, yes I did.
The library was a place of much amusement. And drama in the classroom.
I waitressed, too.
I got sick a few times. But I am alive!
I turned 22. But didn't learn how to drive.
I wrote a number of angry open letters. Seriously.
And other Bad Things happened to my computer.
I found lots and lots of great new music to love.
Second semester meant more of the same.
I lived up New York City as much as I could as a 1L.
I had fun with paintshop.
Law firms wooed me with free booze and cheese plates.
I made some silent protests against consumer culture.
I almost made it on Jeopardy!
Second semester finals will always be remembered as David Blaine Week.
I turned into a 2L.
Did a little writing competiton. Didn't make LR, but another journal I'm excited for.
Started two summer jobs, didn't really like either of them.
Still, I tried to make myself more employable.
Home life was interesting.
I missed NYC, and then came back.

That's it!! My life, in hyperlink form. Back to more regular postings soon, promise promise!

Not dead, part II

2006-08-17T14:35:00.000-04:00

In the midst of early interview week, so apologies for being MIA. But it's awkward to talk about interviews because, let's be serious, this is the World Wide Web.

Other than that, I need to be done with interviews so I can go back to daily margarita binges. Becuase that's how life should be lived.

Lame post = done!

Oh balls.

2006-08-14T01:14:00.000-04:00

In fine NYC form, my room is entirely bare, save for a single sheet on my bed and an unpacked suitcase. But instead of spending my money on things for my "place," I spend my money on BOOZE BOOZE. BOOZE BOOZE from TACO TACO.

Taco Taco is a lovely joint on the ole' Upper East Side, where my good buddies (AND AVID BLOG READERS) reside. It all started to turn a little sour when we all got a round of tequila on the house. Uh, oh!

But have no fear! We took photos pre-booze-a-thon

Well, maybe not "pre" but "some time before crazzzzzy"

Now, me and the Upper East Side had something of a "falling out" ever since an ever-so-fateful cab ride some 10 months ago....BUT NO MORE. We are now besties. Best friends FO'Eva'

And this blog post is CLEARLY keeping in code with my "fewer drunk blog posts" mantra of "who knows, maybe future employers will read this and WEEP [or not hire me]."

Back Back Back!

2006-08-13T16:47:00.000-04:00

Not dead!! Just been busy busy.

Air travel Friday was ridiculous --- ridiculous lines, ridiculous waits, ridiculous LOST LUGGAGE, etc. However, it is now Sunday and all is better and perfect and I, and my things, are in one piece. I can ask for little more.

I'll update later, but I am kind of busy with Bed, Bath & Beyond trips (B-cubed!) and other last-minute things before early interview week starts on Wednesday. Scary scary!

duck, duck, goose

2006-08-10T15:40:00.000-04:00

So I had to re-do my entire approach to packing thanks to the no liquids-gels rule they've got going. Word on the street is that they might ban laptops and ipods. Egads! But, 'tis no matter, safety's important, right.

I've been reading updates on the CNN website, and I came across this handsome mug. It took me about a minute to realize he was holding the biggest gun ever because I was so busy staring at this Tony Danza look-a-like and his giant duck lips.

I'm leaving for the aeropuerto in about 15 hours so I gotta keep hitting the packing train. See everyone in the NYC!

Hey Team

2006-08-10T02:16:00.000-04:00

What a wierd and ridiculous and tragic week. I'll probably have more to say in, who knows, a few days. If you're in NYC, I'll see you soon. If you're in Chicago, I'll miss you much. It's true. Even you, Feeney, Girl-I-Haven't-Hung-Out-With-As-Much-As-Planned-To-Hang-Out-With-Unless-You-Want-To-Hang-Out on-Thursday.

Oh, and super-nerd will be back on Friday. That means, I have no contacts and only glasses. WHO INVITED ME TO ANYTHING? (meghan, you invited me!)

Black Cloud of DOOM

2006-08-06T03:06:00.000-04:00

Alright people, I feel like I have a Black Cloud of Bad Luck following me. It's true!

I'm walking home, minding my own buisness, listening to some jazzy tunes on my ipod. Some dude bumps into me and, because I have my ipod, I'm startled and confused. And not knowing what was going on, I just said, "Oh, sorry, didn't see you there." LIKE I'M ON GOD DAMN LEAVE IT TO BEAVER.

Anyway, he asks if I have a cigarette. Which I DO have, but I wasn't smoking at the time. I just carry them around in my satchel. So I'm rifling. And rifling. And I have to open a new pack. Which proves my previous point of NOT smoking.

Anyway.

So as I'm rifling, I realize that "Miss Efficient!" --- standing doesn't get me home as quickly as walking. So I'm like "Let's walk as I look."

As we're walking, he's all like "You's is beautiful, you's is pretty." Which I feign deafness and pretend not to hear.

So I finally find a cigarette and give it to him and I'm all please-just-go in my head. And, thankfully, he walks ahead of me. And I put my headphones back in.

And then I see him turn around and start to mouth crazy-man talk. I take my earphones out.

"Excuse me?
"What, baby, you didn't hear me?"
"Um, yea, I actually have no idea what you are talking about."
"I SAID, you wanna see something?"

DING DING DING. I went to college and have attended many a fraternity party. I know this line.

"Um, no, I'm fine."
"Come on baby, come on."
"Nope."
"It's an 8 and a half."

To which my internal "freak-o-larm" goes DING DING --- because I think he means gun. Gun = bad. Bad = death.

"You wanna see me play with it."

Freak-o-larm back to neutral. Is not talking about gun. It talking about his dirty dirty you-know-what.

Internal monologue: don'tlookdowndon'tlookdowndon'tlookdowndon'tlookdowndon'tlookdowndon'tlookdown

"No, no I don't"

"Why not, come on baby, it would make my night."

So blah blah, such nonsense continues on the ONLY DARK STREET IN MY HOMETOWN for two blocks. Sigh. I somehow get out of it by rationalizing "Listen, I was nice enough to you to give you a cigarette, do me a favor and leave me alone." Which worked, thankfully.

The whole rest of the way home I was thinking about how I would call the cops and file a police report and prosecute the case and then REALLY REALLY law review would HAVE to call me and let me on because I PROSECUTED a CASE goddammit.

Of course, I decide that microwaving leftover pasta is FAR better solution.

But seriously, people. I want GOOD luck. I want ONE good thing to happen to me. Just ONE. ONE!

No Title

2006-08-04T03:51:00.000-04:00

No good rotten horrible day that just keeps going and going.

Both places of employment are grating on my last nerve, The Internship ends on Monday and I have 1/2 of my big fabulous project for the summer tomorrow in -- oh six hours. And it WAS done, oh yes, for weeks. However, within the last two days I have about 17 thousand additional "oh, do you think you can add this?" little things to do and I just want to go to sleep! But no! The doctors will be restless and angry if everything isn't perfectly collatted to an inch of their lives 5 days ahead of time. These same doctors who don't realize that not EVERY case ever is in Lexis and it's pretty much just appeals and these appeals are more about whether summary judgment was appropriate and jury selection than the answer to their really ridiculously specific question, about which only four Cook County cases are applicable. To give them some more bite, I'm going through the rest of the country because four looks sad and ten would seem more substantial because they are Grumpy! Doctors! and They! Want! Data! but I'm only on Arkansaw and WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STATES IN THE UNION?

Edit: Arkansas is not phonetically spelled. Who knew?

Edit: This will probably be deleted in about a day.

Music Picks: Summer 2006

2006-08-02T23:42:00.000-04:00

So, thanks to GrapefruitGate and not having to study 10 hours a day, I haven't listened to quite as much music this summer as I normally have in the past. Still, there have been some songs that sparked my fancy. And here they are, download them! Love them! WHOOHOO!

Seventy-Four Seventy-Five: Shearwater. Or anything from Shearwater. Heart heart. Double triple venti mocha heart.

Preach: Tom Thumb & The Latter Day Saints

Everyone Chooses Sides: The Wrens

As Time Breaks Off: Delorean

Sunday Bell: Audible

Goods: Mates of State

Something Beautiful: The Real Tuesday Weld

Ivy on Stone: Pinewood Derby

Stonefruit: Halou

Clones Were Made for Them, Not for Us: The Foundry Field Recordings.

Gatsby wouldn't have stood for this!!

2006-08-01T17:13:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday, I'm minding my own business. Brr-iiiing! Brr-iiiiing! The phone rings, I answer it:

"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Um, who is this?"
"Daaaaaaisy"
"I think you have the wrong number." Click!

The person on the other end sounded like a drunk 80-year-old and the caller ID said it was a cell phone number with an area code I didn't recognize. And no one in our family knows a Daisy. WHO is named Daisy anymore?

So, just now, phone rings again, with a familiar number.
"Sigh. Hello?"
"Hello."
"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Who is this?
"Daaaaaaisy!"
"You have the wrong number." Click!

Two seconds later
BRIIIING!
I just answer the phone. But don't say anything. Maybe if it's a prank I can hear giggling in the background or something. Or the clink of a bottle of Jack Daniels against an old lady's dentures.
"Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello."
Daisy hangs up.

Two seconds later.
BRIIIIING!
"Hi, Daisy. I already told you, you must have the wrong number. Who are you trying to call?"
Response: My twelve-year old brother's name.
Crap. I am currently frightening the dickens out of a small child. Named Daisy.
"Well, you know, he's not home right now. I'll let him know you called, but next time you call someone you have to make it clear who you're trying to talk to. Becuase I had no idea who you were and I just thought you were someone who was confused."
"Where's Justin."
"Um, not here. I have your number. He'll call you back, okay"
Click.

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. Girl needs to be taught how to use a phone.

Edit: Good God. The child's name isn't Daisy. It's some high-pitched boy-child who introduces himself as "Davie."

oh my.

2006-07-30T02:42:00.000-04:00

People. This needs to stop. My cat is disgusting.

I hear some squealing outside after work today and not 10 minutes later, my cat comes onto the porch with an entire rabbit. Rabbit, puffy tail. Rabbit, jumpy legs. Rabbit, dead.

And then my Evil Cat feasts on its innards. And outards. And then tires of the charade and leaves to the dark of the night. Leaving a bloody carcas for someone to clean up. Because Gah! I am a cat and cannot be bothered to a) finish a meal or b) clean up after myself.

And already long and rough day made WORSE. Part of me wants to use my fancypants camera and take a picture of it because THAT IS WHAT YOU CAME HERE FOR. Alright, since you ASKED...

On the left, death-rabbit draped with leaf from garden. How poetic, death cat.
On the right, my cat. Bored with death.

Point & Click

2006-07-26T12:23:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited. I'm buying a fancy pants digital camera. I figure with the amount of money that I spend on cheap disposable cameras and their subsequent developing costs; not to mention the pictures end up being crap, I might as well suck it up and get myself a digital. Woohoo! I'm buying this baby today:

http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/canonsd500/

The Canon PowerShot SD500. It's super teeny and comes much-loved from Miss Sara and Miss Jenni. PERFECT. And I can't wait. Maybe I'll actually take pictures of law school life because right now, if you judge by my photo albums, I NEVER WENT TO LAW SCHOOL.

Part of me wanted to splurge on a SLR and become a fabulous professional photographer. Of course,since I am poor and the main purpose of my camera will be sweet drunk photos, a SLR isn't quite "what I need" right now. Maybe later, when I actually have a paycheck, I can be cool like that :)

That Walk-In Freezer at Work is Looking Mighty Nice

2006-07-26T02:03:00.000-04:00

In a futile effort to try to NOT to die from over-heating every night, I've carefully positioned two rotating fans and one stationary box fans at perfect points in my room. The air-conditioning only works downstairs & since a) the house is extra creaky and noisy downstairs and b) I'm not in a fight with my wife, I haven't been sleeping on the couch like everyone tells me to do. Instead, super-fan placement and doing my best at capitalizing on the coveted "cross-breeze" and it seems to work. That, and taking more cold showers late at night than Peter Cook at a Hawaiian Tropic contest.

I watched Crash and Super Size Me recently and they are both awesome. The latter renewed my resolve never to go to a McDonald's again (it's been months as it is). The former was amazing. There's one scene which I won't describe, but if you've seen it you know what I'm talking about --- I don't think I've ever cried so much at a movie. Except maybe Father of the Bride. But Crash made me bawl like a baby. Not helping matters was two glasses of Cabernet. See both if you haven't yet. I give them five bananas!

I will leave you with a photo from Italy. Which makes me mega-jelaous of the They Who Don't Invite Me. Sigh.

List.

2006-07-22T15:45:00.000-04:00

PEOPLE! There is great news to behold! I will be returning to my favorite place on earth - LAW SCHOOL - in less than three weeks! I am honestly (not sarcastically bloggie) ridiculously excited. Why, you ask? Well, allow me to prepare my list. Because lists are lovely.

Why I Loves Me My Law School
1. Sigh, nyc. sigh. sigh. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and want! to! do! something! Here, in stinksville illinois, there is nothing to do after 10PM. Literally, city ordinance, can't keep things open after 10. Guess what time I get off work every night? That's right, 10PM. BUT NOT IN NYC. What to do at 2am after the library closes? Bar! Restaurant! DAVID BLAINE! See, choices.

2. I love learning. Really. I wish I could just be an eternal student and read and write instead "working." And I'm actually thrilled about my fall classes - Evidence! Corporations! International Law! Constitutional Land Use! Less so excited about "Fundamental Lawyering Skills" because that has a solid chance of being lame. But the other four, seriously, will be sweet.

3. I miss my friends & people.

4. On the same token, I am but a five hour bus ride to Boston. And DC. Which increases "favorite people" quotient by 300. Here, I am a bus ride away from [jazz hands] South Bend and [jazz hands] Millwaukee. They are the puka shells of the jewelry world. And NYC, you are my diamond.

5. August promises to be a great month. Yes, there will be majorly stressful interviews and such. However, the homework level will be hovering around 0 which means that there will be plenty of opportunities of good fun to be had. That means booze! Worth the 5 dollar surcharge for a beer to be in Manhattan.

Super soon, can't wait :)

More YouTube. Who am I?

2006-07-19T22:27:00.000-04:00

Oh my word, please tell me why an INSURANCE commerical makes me cry. It's the Liberty Mutual "Responsibility" ad. People helping people! Tear!

mooooo

2006-07-19T16:16:00.000-04:00

I know everyone has been talking about how George Bush said "shit" when at the G8. Which, fine: drama drama drama, I can't believe he swore.

But what I really, really can't believe is how our president eats a piece of bread. He eats like a goon, biting it off, chomping with his mouth open and then talking with his mouth full. I can't get over it. At first, when I saw the clips, I thought they were actually just commenting about his eating habits. But, no, there's more. A shitstorm.

But is he trying so hard to be just a "regular southern guy" that he has to eat like a monkey?

Your finest rose`, please!

2006-07-17T12:17:00.000-04:00

Oh my word, it is HOT here. Unbelievably hot. The kind of hot where I shoot angry daggar eyes at the token "Oh, we don't we sit on the patio? They have UMBRELLAS!" tables at the restaurant. This is because the woman is wear a low cut sundress that highlights her sun-spotted cleavage and I - I am wearing long black pants and a long sleeved collared shirt. And because my boss is "Penny wise but dollar foolish" (love that saying) and decided to start being especially frugal with the airconditiong inside. And the airconditioning in the kitchen/pizza oven room broke a week ago. But, no, functioning alcoholic lady, YOU sit outside in 99 degree heat. I will serve you with a smile.

So ever since the-thing-that-i-can't-talk-about happened, the kitchen has been rather short of staff. And the broken A/C doesn't really make for efficicent cooking. And, newsflash small, rotund child who orders a well-done steak while your parents order a cup of soup, well-done steak takes a bloody long time to cook! So, when your parents tire of your inane stories about Harry Potter and Ring Dings, and they are STILL waiting for your steak, they blame the situation on me. Somehow, even though the restaurant is packed, I found some time to take your son's steak, hold on to it, look at it admiringly and keep in the waitress zone just for kicks. And what KICKS they were. So don't tip me a shit tip becuase you order the longest-to-make thing on the menu and it takes a long time. I understand being hungry. I understand maybe being in a rush. But keep your pissy mood in MIND when you decide what to order.

That is all. Sorry about being a lame not-frequent blogger. It'll get better :)

ten ten ten things!

2006-07-11T00:44:00.000-04:00

Everything's turning up banana. No, really. Lots of good news. Partially helped by two glasses of free wine thanks to my boss. Becuase he, like everyone else, hearts the banana. Allow me to list:

1. I didn't make Law Review. How is this good news? Well, it's not. But I got on all the OTHER NON-LAW REVIEW journals which, really, put together, have to equal law review. RIGHT??? RIGHT??? No. Wrong. Wrong.

2. However. TWO of the four other people in study group DID make law review. How awesome are they (who shall remain nameless, you know, becuase they're modest like that). AND the rest of study group is going to be on the same "other journal." Awesome! I love study group.

3. Sigh, I didn't make law review. life is over.

4. No, not it's not.

5. A table at the restaurant said I had the nicest teeth they've ever seen. That's right! They're great! And straight! Never had braces! Woohoo!

6. I got new jeans in the mail. Hot ass.

7. I made 25% in tips tonight. I am so great! No more law school for me!

8. No. Wrong. I love law school. I am literally counting the days until I get back.

9. I changed my address for NetFlix so now I can actually use it again. I watched the first season of Felicity. memmoooorrrrriiiiieeeessss!

10. I spend five hours every day IMing Sara during work discussing the following concepts:
a) things we would buy from Sephora
b) things we would buy from Overstock
c) our ridiculous and horrible co-workers
d) OUR NEW FABULOUS JEWLERY COMPANY. And you will buy our beautiful creations. Promise.

So, yes, 10 (kinda) things that make me in a good mood. 1 thing that makes me grumpy bones:
1. I have to go to work tomorrow.

You know you wanna...

2006-07-07T00:43:00.000-04:00

The Summer of Self Improvement is chugging along. Or so I'm letting myself believe. I won't go into too many details, but I'm learning languages, starting businesses, reading lots. It's great. Even if my jobs aren't the more fantabulous things out there, there is GOOD in the world. Oh yea, and I'm getting really good at drinking a lot. Another important skill as a soon-to-be lawyer, no?

IN OTHER NEWS....one of my other goals has been to be more creative. Unlike my painting that 10 Gold PROUDLY hung in the kitchen (LOST AT SEA: acrylic on canvas), I am trying to follow through and do more than "one" of something. TO THAT END, I am participating in an artsy craftsy thing Roommate Marie (who, really, can no longer be dubbed as such, but whatever) is organizing. It's called a "Fat Book." Mhmmm....yummy. Not really edible, BUT you can both read more AND sign up here. I know there are some Kreative Kats out there in bloggie land, you should sign up. Yes you should!!!

I have SO MANY restaurant stories but I get nervous posting them the week they happen. So, soon, young grasshopper, you will be getting MANY MANY MANY stories of food service craziness. Promise.

Jello!

2006-07-03T12:42:00.000-04:00

This might be a purely 1L move - and now that I'm a big, grown-up 2L I should bother, but give me a break!! Anyway - I am very very excited. Why? I BEAT CLAIRE HUXTABLE TO THE PROPERTY LAW PUNCH!!!!

Yes, THE Claire Huxtable. I was watching a little early morning fave - The Cosby Show - and there's a substory of Claire having a Big Case at the Big Law firm. A big company wanted to tear town a tiny! and cute! playground - the company owned the property.

And in my brain: : : : DING DING DING DING ADVERSE POSSESSION! FIVE POINT TEST!!! WHAT IS THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS IN NEW YORK STATE????

and TWO! WHOLE! SCENES! LATER! Claire mentions the old AP. That's right, I beat Mrs. Huxtable. Who does that? ME!

Oh dear....

2006-06-30T00:14:00.000-04:00

I was asked out by a 57 year old man two days ago at work. He was sporting a ketchup-stained tight Cubs t-shirt and baseball cap. We were going to go "dancing." I tried convincing him that I was a lost cause, when it comes to the dancing. Which is entirely true. But it felt like a lie because it was purely to make him go away. He came back last night (when I was not working) and he apparently looked all around the restaurant for ME, his amor. I was no where to be found, sadface.

Apparently, the way I open a bottle of Miller Lite is VERY attractive.

Quick Note

2006-06-27T16:51:00.000-04:00

Um, I have a pet peeve. People who cannot spell "tie dye." Tie Die/tye dye/die tye or WHATEVER is wrong. As in "incorrect." I don't why it bothers me this much, enough to emerge from blogger one-week obscurity and rant a little. Maybe, oh, I don't know:

a) you're using the phrase tie dye in a sentence. You're probably this guy, braggin about his jaunty new shirt:

What's next, a sentence about MACRAME?? Outrageous!

b) I don't understand the confusion. Granted, I always have trouble with the past tense of "to blow dry." Is it "blew drew"? "blow dried"? "blew dry"? I DO NOT KNOW. But no, tie dye is easy. How do you make a fashionable t-shirt with all the colors of the rainbow?? You tie the shirt and then you dye the shirt. Easy! Fun! Quick!

And now you know!

I keep humming that song from The Talented Mr. Ripley

2006-06-21T13:48:00.000-04:00

The parents are going to Italy for all of July. To help myself with the wallowing in self-pity (as I am NOT invited) I have been cooking Italian food in the four hours in between my internship and my waitressing shift the past few weeks. Today has been brought to you by:

Lemon & Pistachio Biscotti with Dark Chocolate
The recipe really only said "Pistachio!" Biscotti - but I had lemons that were going bad and, in the grand scheme of things, adding chocolate to something is usually a sure-fire means of SUCCESS (Miss Marie may or may not have rubbed off on me a tad this past year). So, friends, witness, the deliciousness that is:
Mmhmmm....now all I need is some good coffee and I'll be set!

Banana Pants

2006-06-20T23:35:00.000-04:00

People, people, I'm in big trouble here. I was rehashing the ol' resume and realized that I had NOTHING to put under the "interests" section. No, really, I have no interests that would be proper for a resume.

Either they are inappropriate:
1. Blog-writing. I loves me some blog!
2. Gossip. "He got married to Not Me? Outrageous!"
3. Shamrock Shakes and Baked Crunchy Cheetos

Untrue:
1. Sky-diving
2. Poetry
3. Macrame

True, but just too common:
1. Cooking
2. Reading
3. Swimming

So, like I said, I am in Big Trouble. What will my (hopefully) future employers talk to me about in two months? "Ahhh, I see. You went to undergrad for four years in a non-descript town in New York, graduated with the two most common majors for law students, came straight to law school, you were a member of several "____ Law Students' Association" (Insert "Women's" or "Italian-American" or "Very Awesome," etc). TELL ME MORE! I'm so excited I might burst" No, that sort of exchange will never happen.

So, the plan of attack is - during the Summer of the Banana - to find a gosh darn original hobby or interest. Make a boring banana

Into AWESOME BANANA

Soooo, here goes nothing. I'm going to try nabbling in some jewlery making and other craft-type tihngs. ANY OTHER IDEAS???

Oh my word, I can't wait.

2006-06-19T00:54:00.000-04:00

Another movie clip. What's wrong with me.

But this is a link to the BORAT MOVIE TRAILER. I know - awesome, huh? It comes out this fall - Emily, I expect to be seeing this with you asap!

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1695039/

And watching this clip is worth it just to hear Borat say "good bye"
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1636429/

I swear this isn't becoming a YouTube blog

2006-06-18T06:17:00.000-04:00

I like my bears like I like my boobies; limp and bouncy. This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

El Presidente

2006-06-18T00:31:00.000-04:00

George Bush loves to make fun of blind reporters.

An Important Note

2006-06-16T23:05:00.000-04:00

If you are, in fact, allergic to peanuts, do not remember said fact only when I bring the peanut crusted appetizer to your plate, billed as "Peanut Crusted". A more opportune time to remember such a thing would be prior to ordering the appetizer in the first place.

AND PS: Guess what I am using to type this oh-so-great-blog-post?? My LAPTOP - now, with less grapefruit!! And a new hard drive, keyboard and motherboard. Score.

An Open Letter to the B*tches at Table Six

2006-06-12T22:20:00.000-04:00

I get it. You are 40-something hot mamas out for a NIGHT ON THE TOWN! (jazz hands). No night on the town is complete with lots and lots of 6-dollar-a-glass cheap chardonnay. MMHMM!! OAKY!!

So I was taken out of the rotation to help do my boss's accounting. Because, apparently, law school = accounting school = getting paid 3 bucks an hour to enter year-old receipts into an arcaane computer application. Score. Anyway, so I had NO tables. And I was ready just to be done with work, call it a night, and go home with my 0 dollars of tips. But then YOU four walked in. And the hostess just KNEW --- THIS TABLE IS FOR BANANA.

So you all ordered your shit wine and your salads and your salmon and it was great and delicious. And all I wanted to do was to go home. I try to bus your salmon plates, counting than I could slip out soon because I actually had PLANS and wanted to booze it up myself.

"Oh no, we're still picking at it!!!" TEHEEHEHEHEHEHEE, the table erupts in slightly-drunk, peroxide-blonde, midwest-housewife giggles. I dealt with you folks at the country club. NO MORE.

It is now ten minutes later, 7:30PM.

I try for the plates again, offer some coffee (no dessert was offered, because I wanted to leave. I know, I'm horrible).

"Oh, no coffee for us, just some more wine!!" TEHEHEHHEHEHEH.

Gawd, hilarious, ladies, HILARIOUS.

So another round of gross chardonnay and I drop the check "Here's the check for you ladies, any time you're ready." LIKE NOW! NOW WOULD BE GREAT!!

It's now 7:50. Fifteen minutes should be enough to finish up conversations and take a look at the bill. "Have you gotten a chance to peek at the check?"

"OH NO!!! We haven't even TOUCHED it!!" HEHEHEHEHTHEHEHEH. Again, with the hilarity.

And it's really bloody adorable to make your waitress wait twenty minutes to close out your check. Charming.

So, it's 8:15. I was supposed to be meeting my friend at 8. Awesome. I go over to the table, the checkbook not having been touched. I bus EVERYTHING off their table. There is nothing on their table. It is white and clean except for the check and glasses of water. Which they haven't touched. Because of the wine.

8:20. Still nothing. I go over there and refill the water glasses. Which aren't so much empty except for maybe they forgot that there is a waitress who needs to be paid at some point and it would be great if, fifty minutes later, paying bill would be an option. I don't honestly care how long they stay. Just pay the bill so I can close out my credit cards and GO HOME.

8.30. The bus boy has done the ol' accidentally-grab-the-check,-feign-not-speaking-English-Oh-We-Still-Haven't-Looked-At-It-Giggle, Still no dice. LISTEN UP LADIES. I do NOT care if you want to DISH DISH DISH the whole night away. I really don't. But you CANNOT just sit there with an unpaid check on your table. Just pay the check, and let the waitstaff do their thing. But an hour is TOO LONG to fish your credit card out of your purses and hand it over to me. I don't care if you tip me 10%. I just need you to pay your BILL so I can pay my BOSS the money for your chardonnay. That's it. JUST LET ME GO HOME.

Unfortunately, they did not let me go home and I ended up just having one of the other waiters deal with them whenever they decided to leave. Apparently, the waiter stopped by around 8:45 to let them know that their waitress left a little while ago and they laughed like it's SO HILARIOUS to make the waitress wait around for their sweet asses to decide to pay the bill.

Angry fist!

The DMV in Chicago smells like feet and cabbage

2006-06-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

So Anna "Why Do I Need A License Because OTHER People Can Drive ME and Isn't That Just Better?" Banana will be getting her DRIVER'S PERMIT tomorrow morning, bright and early. I'm printing out the "Rules of the Road" so I can be sure to pass. It's my second time through (and yes, I did pass it, six years ago) so hopefully my old, haggard brain WON'T BAIL ON ME NOW!!!

Questions you should not ask me:
"Why haven't you gotten your license yet, dumbass?"
"Hey, dumbass, why haven't you gotten your license?"
and
"You don't know how to DRIVE?!?!?"

To answer question number tres (spanish for "three") --- I DO know how to drive. In theory. And I beat Alex on some racing game a few weeks ago AND I think I was sorority champion junior year in Mario Kart SO GIVE ME MY DAMN LICENSE ALREADY!

Why Doesn't Anyone Name Their Children Damien Anymore?

2006-06-06T20:45:00.000-04:00

My little brother came home from school today wearing all white. It was June 6, 2006 - or 6.6.[0]6 as all the expectant mothers who induced over the last few days know. The Day of the El Diablo and all sorts of other things. So Binky Barnes [nickname for the little guy, because although I've resigned myself to perhaps losing my job because of the blog, my little bro needn't ruin his jr. high career just yet] - Barnes comes home wearing all white and a crucifix. Apparently, he knew there was going to be trouble today because he hit SO MANY foul balls during baseball - and he usually doesn't do that.

Also, some of the other 5th graders wore RED and BLACK (egads!) in order to be "bad-ass," I suppose. Barnes asked them all "Why do you even try to tempt fate?" He's so serious about so many things.

Apparently, during "clean out your desk day" at school - some of the other kids (who were obviously the ones wearing red and black) got their fingers SHASHED in the DESKS. And "a lot fo kids were really clumsy."

I wanted to go into the whole statistical concept that the only reason you feel like people are more clumsy is simply because you were looking out for it --- I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but elementary students are, as a general rule, clumsy little rugrats. But I decided to keep mum lest he lose the fear of God TOO early.

Either way, he was being cute. And I gues I'm glad that I'm not working at the restaurant tonight - last summer's "exorcism" - complete with priest - was a little much for me - and I can only imagine the antics that are happening on today's most un-holy day.

As an aside, if I HAD to give birth to a child today, you better believe his name would be "Christian Mark Luke John Matthew Jesus Gabriel Joesph Banana" or, if a girl "Mary Margaret Magdalene Faith Chastity Hope Grace Banana." Suckers on the playground, but NOT possessed by the devil.

Imagine that!

2006-06-04T16:09:00.000-04:00

So I decided, you know, maybe I should POST IN THE BLOG. At least something besides (a) I hate work. Which I really do. New definition of "hate." I do risk management for a hospital. This means that I have no clients - at least in the sense of "this person is coming for my help." Instead, the whole goal is the PREVENTION of acquiring clients. So I create forms no one wants to fill out, organize meetings no one wants to attend and generally make people do things they don't want to do. I've become a MICRO-MANAGER. It's horrible, and I hate myself.

At least there's the restaurant, right?

It's better in a lot of ways. I work with fun people and I get to talk and banter and drink on the job, every now and then. All good things. And I walk out with a delicious wad of cash. Even better. Of course, there are people who come in who make Other People Who Won't Be Mentioned for Fear of Being Fired From My Unpaid Internship seem same and delightful. But such is life, there will be stories forthcoming, no doubt.

Right now, I'm just hating on the restaurant because I. Never. Leave. And it's only been four days and I feel that way. I was there Friday night, then had to be right back at there at 5am Saturday morning. And then I got to go home for three hours and then work until 10pm. Lame. Too much food-serving. The one good thing is, of course, that the more food I serve, the closer I become to getting a non-grapefruited laptop. A GOOD THING INDEED.

I do have other things to say, outside of me complaining about work. Because I bet that can only turn out two ways. I maintain my vaguenes and it's just becomes boring and annoying. Or I finally tell you the truth and then I lose my job. Both are outcomes that are "not good" so I'll spare you.

I read the book Pledged about how sororities are evil and ruin lives. Or something to that effect. I'll have a more nuanced review of it in the upcoming days. And there are other things to talk about, too - so don't worry, there will soon be "content" in this blog. In DUE TIME.

Meow!

2006-05-31T15:31:00.000-04:00

This is my cat. He is sleeping on my computer. He is very cute. I like him much more than my new job which I HATE and WANT TO KILL MYSELF. But that is all I can say. Becuase I don't want to get fired. Although, considering....

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

2006-05-30T23:37:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I start my first day of work at my new "legal" job. No quotes necessary, really - it's just more fun that way. I still have to iron all my things and get "ready." But, unfortunately, GrapefruitGate 2006 means that I might not have anything to do tomorrow. I "need" a laptop. And up until recently, I "had" a laptop. My boss said that it would still be possible to do Good Work without a laptop, but not so much possible to do Great! and Amazing! work. So, I might push up my 6 week program a week so I only have to do Good Work for a week or so before I finally am able to finance a magical laptop.

So, I'm working for a hospital. Apparently, my Big Job is to re-write an informed consent form this summer. I HOPE HOPE there will be more to do becuase, even sans laptop, that would be pretty lame-o.

In an effort not to lose this job on account of Ridiculous Blog (as opposed to Ridiculous Attitude or Not Showing Up) - I might not be able to recount all the HILARIOUS things that will happen to me this summer.

BUT HAVE NO FEAR.

I am also a waitress. And I think that I might be able to sneak some clever stories. And, really, unlike talking about the two other people I work with at the hosptial legal department - the restaurant have a CONSTANT INFLUX of crazy people. And with them, their stories. So get excited.

I start on Saturday. At 5AM. Oh dear God, save me - that will be rough. My first waitressing day in eight months will be start earlier than I've gotten up since swim team practice in high school. I would worry that I would accidentally spill a bowl of hot soup on a bald man's head (like I "almost" did last summer) - but breakfast food is decidedly un-spillable - unless someone orders porridge. In which case THEY ARE GETTING THEY'RE OWN DAMN PORRIDGE.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Aw, sorry team

2006-05-30T23:24:00.000-04:00

They're little. They're little tiny babies. Don't be mad. I didn't "sell out"- I just am feeling the effects of The Great Grapefruit Incident of 2006.

They'll probably be gone soon. If you don't know what I'm talking about, they rhyme with "fad" and are about two inches north of this here dot: . (<-- that was the dot!) Hearts, Banana

Dear Chicago,

2006-05-29T17:41:00.000-04:00

Knock it off. You are great is so many ways. Your lakefront, it's great - especially in the summer - keeps the city from being muggy and gross. Your summer music festivals - awesome! I love music! I love being festive! They are so many great and awesome things about Chicago.

Except one thing.

For the love of God, play it cool. We have exactly two "real" celebrities hanging out in Chicago. Vince Vauhgn and Jennifer Aniston. Granted, it's neat! It's great! And if I were to pass them down the street, I would obviously gawk and be excited. But I must law down the law.

You need to get them off the evening news. Look they're at a Cubs game! Look they're at the beach! It's great! LOOK LOOK LOOK WE HAVE FAMOUS PEOPLE.

Awesome, Chicago newscasters. Awesome. I understand the whole Second City mentality (more like third, or even fourth city when it comes to celebrities). But you're EMBARASSING ME!! I lived in New York City for the past nine months. That's where we're super-great and super-chill when it comes to celebrities. And, gosh, you guys are just SO NOT PLAYING IT COOL! So, why not set up a Chicago version of Gawker Stalker, a personal favorite, and you can gawk and stalk and follow up and tell people where "all" the celebrities are. That would be cool. But having reputable newspeople interviewing the restaurant owner from where Aniston/Vaughan ate dinner this week is LAME AND NEEDS TO STOP.

Granted, this is coming from the same newscast that features Mr. Food ("boiled hot dogs and food coloring arranged into this PATRIOTIC FLAG!") and All My Children Jeopardy (don't ask). But still. Try to play it like you're like a part of the slightly-nerdy fraternity having an open party. and you see a mega hot girl. YOU DON'T MAKE A BIG SCENE! You don't go around and follow her and try to see if maybe you can take a picture of your buddies letting off a bottle rocket and then at the VERY LAST MINUTE you swing the camera a bit to the right so it's KINDA like you were able to get a picture with her, but not really. You sit back, pretend like it's normal and maybe she'll have a good enough time to stay awhile - and maybe come back.

Take a moment to laugh, a little bit

2006-05-28T15:18:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Lindy for this hilarious clip - I've sold enough of my old books to buy exactly 1/20th of a new laptop! I'm ROLLING in it!

unhappy

2006-05-26T00:22:00.000-04:00

Five hours after I hand in my writing competition packet, I spill a grapefruit on my laptop and ruin the hard drive.

Very unhappy.

Edit: I don't want to jinx it. So I won't say anything. But a hairdryer, towel and tweezers might just be magical magical things. But I'm not going to jinx it.

Edit 2: I think I might have spoken too soon. I got all the liquid out, but I think the sugar and acid from the grapefruit are doing a number on my harddrive. Who am I? Who does this? Spill a grapefruit on a laptop. Saving grace: law school 1L is over and all the stuff on my hard drive really don't matter. BUT I need my laptop for my law job this summer and I would hate to tell my boss on Wednesday that I can't do my job yet because my laptop smells like a grapefruit. I'm letting the guy settle for the weekend. In the meantime, I'm selling every book I own, essentially, on amazon and am considering "selling out" with some garbage addies on this blog. But that would be lame. And if there's anything I'm NOT, it's lame! RIGHT!? Right?

Edit 3: Has anyone had any advice on using EBay to buy a laptop? Any advice if, hypothetically, that's my new plan?

Kinkos & FedEx Stink

2006-05-24T23:37:00.000-04:00

So, after a day of Many Fears and Frightening Moments, and still not being anywhere close to being done with anything associated with the writing competition, I decide to take a study break to make doubly-sure that I have all my supplies and things for tomorrow afternoon's printing and mailing BONAAAAANZA. Manilla envelopes, staples, ink injector for ink cardtridges; CHECK CHECK AND CHECK.

So I call the local Kinkos FedEx place to make sure that the magical tracking number on my Package of Law Journal Hope will (a) track what time a package was sent and (b) will be able to track a package that was sent after business hours. The guy on the other end of the line CLEARLY has no idea what he is talking about.

Act I

[Welcome to Kinkos, etc etc]
Me: I just want to make sure that the tracking number FedEx gives me will record the time the package is sent.
Mr. Kinko: What is your tracking number?
Me: No, no, I just want to make sure that's a service FedEx offers.
Mr. Kinko: Well, if you pay by credit card, you can verify the time you paid for it.
Me: Well, shouldn't the tracking number tell me what time the package was sent?
Mr. Kinko: You can tape a copy of your receipt to your package.
-Seriously, Martha Stewart?!?!? -
Me: But the tracking number won't have that information?
Mr. Kinko: Well, if you need me to, I can call 1-800-GO-FEDEX and check.
Pause.
Me: Oh no, you've been more than helpful. click.

Sigh, I am going to go ahead and call FedEx myself because I don't so much "trust" Mr. Kinko.

Act II

[Dial 1 for English, etc etc etc]
Me: I am trying to figure out if the tracking number would have the time a package was sent.

Mrs. FedEx: What is your tracking number?
Me: I have no tracking number. I did not send a package.
Mrs. FedEx: You can access your tracking number online.
Me: No, no, I'm talking hypothetically here. If I WERE to send a package with FedEx [seriously doubting the wiseness of that plan now..] would the recipient have access to the time the package was sent when they recieve it.

Mrs. FedEx: Well, it depends on the service you choose, we can do next day mail. Or three day mail.
Sigh
Me: Okay. I have a deadline tomorrow at 7PM. If I send a package before 7PM, will there be any way for the person who gets it to know that I have sent it by the deadline?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, the package will have a tracking number.
Me: But does that tracking number have the time the package was sent?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, you can access your tracking number online at www.FedEx.com
Sigh
Me: And would that show when the package was sent?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, yes....
Oh, is it that obvious, really, that it needed to take seven minutes and all I wanted was a human being to tell me that NO you will not fail the law review game by sending your ream of paper to Sir Law Review via FedEx. Thank you.

Fin

And I still have NO IDEA whether FedEx will let me send a package after business hours (say, 5:59:59PM CDT) and timestamp it as such. Because everyone at FedEx is a moron. Does anyone out there in the grand internet know?

Meow Mix Meow Mix!

2006-05-24T09:03:00.000-04:00

Sooo, I'm back in Chicago. I sat next to a man with kaiser rolls for palms on the plane - he wasn't a particularly fat man, just VERY FAT PALMS. Shiny, egg-glazed kaiser rolls with little snausages poking out of them - Martha Stewart would be proud.

There were more hilarious items in SkyMall but I have NO TIME because I spent all of Tuesday packing and traveling and didn't really get that much work done. And it's smack dab in the middle of the Very Important Writing Competition, so I need to be back to work. It might be a late night tonight, folkies.

Super-sad to be gone - I miss NYC :( But I have a feeling once I start working and waitressing I'll get back into it - ("it" being Chicago) RIGHT??? RIGHT????

BUT I'M MISSING FLEET WEEK! Egads!

Things I Learned During the Writing Competition

2006-05-22T15:54:00.000-04:00

THIS IS NOT ME CHEATING. Even though, if I wanted, I could tell you that the answer is "three" (shoot! I'm disqualified!) what I'm REALLY saying is that 10 pages in Courier New is really more like 7.3 pages in Times New Roman. My whole hour-a-page mantra was in serious trouble once we were forced to put everything in Courier New instead of Times New Roman, the old college stand-by. BUT HAVE NO FEAR.

I just typed "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," for 10 minutes, breaking it up sometimes by typing "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy LOG" because that's FUNNY! How can a log be lazy?!? It just lies there! That's what logs DO!

In any event, a little PSA to fellow writing competition laborers -- only 7.3 pages! Woo!

Edit: Emily, it's only 3.5 single-spaced Times New Roman pages --- we're seriously over half-way done! And we haven't even started!

Done, Not So Much

2006-05-22T00:43:00.000-04:00

So TODAY BEGAN THE WRITING COMPETITION.

And, therefore, ended the booze-a-thon that has been the last five days. There was much merriment, but now the merriment must end!! Four days of writing and bluebooking and kinda being in NO MOOD to do anything except eat spaghettios and drink lukewarm wine.

But, unfortunately, My Future depends on the next four days. I can't talk about it - talking about the packet/prompt is punish-worthy! Death by guillotine or exclusion from le law review! Egads!

So, since you don't want THAT to happen --- here are two commericals. For carbon dioxide. Paid for by- you guessed it - gas companies. I laughed. And then remembered that people will soon watch these ads and, like the meatnormous egg sandwich from BK, EAT MORE GASOLINE.

Ad Numero Uno
Ad Numero Dos

Oh, and the second ad cites some research about growing ice caps.
The climate scientists at realclimate.org explain:

However, Johanessen et al. were not able to measure all of the coastal ranges. Indeed, the thinning of the margins and growth in the interior Greenland is an expected response to increased temperatures and more precipitation in a warmer climate. These results present no contradiction to the accelerated sliding near the coasts.

Why I am a Quitter

2006-05-19T12:15:00.000-04:00

People, they have fake clickers.

FAKE CLICKERS!

The reason I did not go to Jeopardy this morning was because there is a large contingent of the trying-out community that bought fake clickers "to practice." So they could get their timing down. This, and the fact that "U.S. Presidents, Shakespeare, State Birds, Prime Ministers, Rivers of the World and Brands of Pocket Protectors" have been FLASHCARDED and studied for months now. And I would be totally fine just taking the fake exam and a FABULOUS personality interview because at 9 this morning I probably would still have been drunk which makes my already-fabulous personality FABULOUS.

But it was the mock-jeopardy game that freaked me out. Would I write my name in script? ALL CAPS! Put a little jaunty Uncle Moneybags Hat on top of the "A" of "Anna'?

I would have NO CHANCE against the contingent of super-nerds that have been practicing with their fake-but-OFFICIAL!-JEOPARDY!-CLICKERS! I would just stand there and say "I like hot dogs!" AND THAT WOULD GET ME NO POINTS!

So, instead, maybe this summer I will make a list of Currencies of the World and buy a 20 dollar clicker online and practice. But I have resigned myself that three days after 1L of law school is not "the time" to try out for Jeopardy. I've already milked my Consitution Team champion-ness for all it's worth this year. Next year will be the year of my drunken ramblings about SCHOLASTIC BOWL!! And you WILL see me! With BELLS ON!

I quit!

2006-05-19T02:41:00.000-04:00

Chances of me making it to the Waldorf tomorrow morning in time for shmoozing with Alex Trebeck : SLIM TO NONE!

Maybe next year, we shall meet, Trebeck! Maybe next year!

Now I am filled with a sense of ennui

2006-05-18T16:49:00.000-04:00

So, friends, 1L is over. And the proper way to celebrate is, of course, a three-day binge-drinking bender. AND WHO AM I IF NOT PROPER? I have plans for tonight, so I'm thinking about maybe taking the Friday off. Because my brain has been through enough abuse in the last three weeks; it doesn't need any more of this crazy punishment.

Sunday starts the writing competition - and in a WEEK I will be truly, literally, 100% done with my first year of law school. And that means only two more years of aimless musings on this here bloggie. SAD FACE, NO?

'twas the night before con law

2006-05-15T23:31:00.000-04:00

In twelve hours, I will be knee-deep in my last exam of my [illustrious, obvi] 1L career. In fourteen hours, I will hopefully be knee-deep in booze and good times. And continue that way until I pick up my writing competition packet on Sunday. If I show up sober, it will count as an Amazing Feat of Self-Control and Greatness, because, come on, everyone I know who got on le Law Review did the packet starting two nights before anyways. And if there's one thing I can do well, it's write 80 pages of text in 67 sleepless hours (read: last six semester of college). And, hey, the writing competition is only 10 pages long SO REALLY THEY SHOULD JUST PUT ME ON LAW REVIEW NOW.

But I going to pull a Gross Thing and wear the same shirt I wore today, tomorrow. It's good luck! It has a hawk (bacaw!) gripping a copy of the Consitution in his talons. IN HIS TALONS PEOPLE. TALONS!

That being said, I Hope to God (really) that I don't show up tomorrow and forget the little bit of knowledge that is being precariously balanced in between "where I can find the nearest BurritoBox, Burritoville and that sack of burittos I bought for a stamp last semester" and "colors that end in 'urple."

SPEAKING OF COLORS THAT END IN URPLE. Friday morning is Make-Out-With-Alex-Trebeck-Day! Excitement! Tomorrow night I am going to some trivia night in the west village with law school friends because the only way to get myself on the Jeopardy is by trying to force myself to remember things when I'm drunk - that way it will be THAT MUCH EASIER when I get to do it "sober" on national television. See, it's just like tapering for swim team. Now With Extra Booze!

I Hate All That You Stand For

2006-05-14T17:49:00.000-04:00

This will come in handy when I am studying for the MPRE.

The Creed Of The Locksmith

A Locksmith always remembers his public trust. With him rests the security of property and fortune. As a public guardian, he shuns the dishonest, the wicked and the avaricious. For thousands of years, he and his predecessors have placed trust and honor above temptation. His honesty is incorruptible. His allies are the custodians of law and order. He is an artist at his trade and the symbol of skill and integrity to the world.

Ehh, Mea Culpa!!

2006-05-14T10:08:00.000-04:00

meta-mea culpa.

no one has to retake any contracts exam. apparently, when i get my news seven people removed from the actual source, i get some "facts" "wrong."

details, details.

Last weekend of not-fun!!

2006-05-12T18:51:00.000-04:00

Three down!! One to go!!! It would feel great if there wasn't a closed-book Constitutional Law final looming -- can't quite figure out how I'm going to memorize 98 (literally) cases in a weekend. BUT HAVE NO FEAR, Red Bull and fear of failing are here!!!

Contracts went "well." Well in the sense that there was absolutely no benefit to me studying - 3 hours for an open book exam that had a two-page handwritten limit per question (there were 3) which meant that for every hour-long question, everyone in the class had a good 40-45 minutes to "reasearch." It was much less a test of Contracts Knowledge then an assessment of how well you can use an index. That being said, I could have very well gotten a C, thanks to the forced curve and I am frustrated that I wasted my time studying Ks when I should have been studying Con Law. But such is the life, no? I suppose if any professor would have pulled a tricky trick like that, it would have been professor flip flops, so...the only thing to do is move on.

I cannot wait until Tuesday at noon-thirty - I might forgo coffee in my travel mug and pour some delicious delicious booze in there instead - I will not be able to make it back to my room sober.

Cool-tracts

2006-05-11T03:09:00.000-04:00

Sooo, Contracts final tomorrow (this?) morning and it could go either way. I feel like a) I know what a contract may or may not be and b) I know how to calculate damages. WHERE IS MY A, PROFESSOR? That being said, the collective crapping-of-the-pants my section is having right about now is a little disconcerting and who knows, maybe my false sense of security will be pummled in six hours. This is when I wish I had no friends and talked to no one in my section - it just stresses me out.

But then again, I kinda like my section people-folk, so, I guess it's a TOSS UP.

I work for the Department of the Redundancy Department

2006-05-09T17:22:00.001-04:00

So, here I am, slaving away, trying to learn six credits worth of contracts in the next, um, 36 hours. And I plan on using those 36 hours efficiently and relying on a minimum number of naps and not watching "What Not to Wear." And, I would like to thank the writers of "Understanding Contracts," publisher LexisNexis for their succinct, clear and non-repetitive language. They go by the names of Jeffrey Ferriell and Michael Navin. THANKS JEFF AND MIKE. You KNOW my time is valuable and have helped make sure that I don't waste ANY time. No, really, this excerpt is DEFINITELY not repetitive. repetitive. repetitive.

Boys and girls, let's learn about material breach:
A total material breach is a material breach which cannot be cured. If one party has committed a material breach and it cannot be cured, there is a total material breach.
A breach cannot be cured if it is the type of breach which cannot be cured.

I work for the Department of the Redundancy Department

2006-05-09T17:22:00.000-04:00

So, here I am, slaving away, trying to learn six credits worth of contracts in the next, um, 36 hours. And I plan on using those 36 hours efficiently and relying on a minimum number of naps and not watching "What Not to Wear." And, I would like to thank the writers of "Understanding Contracts," (publisher LexisNexis) for their succinct, clear and non-repetitive language. They go by the names of Jeffrey Ferriell and Michael Navin. THANKS JEFF AND MIKE. You KNOW my time is valuable and have helped make sure that I don't waste ANY time. No, really, this excerpt is DEFINITELY not repetitive. repetitive. repetitive.

Boys and girls, let's learn about material breach:
A total material breach is a material breach which cannot be cured. If one party has committed a material breach and it cannot be cured, there is a total material breach.
A breach cannot be cured if it is the type of breach which cannot be cured.

Publik

2006-05-09T15:06:00.000-04:00

I need to make an apology. Some people have implied that I might have been a little mean to Mr. David Blaine regarding his magic trick last night, or failure thereof. And the last thing I want would be for the Man Himself to google his name, happen upon my sight and exclaim WHY IS THIS PERSON WHO FASHIONS HERSELF LIKE A BANANA WITH GOOGLIE EYES AND STICKS FOR LIMBS BEING SO MEAN???? Which, I suppose, is a fair question.

I'm sorry, David Blainie.

NYT, what?

2006-05-09T00:46:00.000-04:00

"To the matter of Mr. Blaine's unusual choice of vocation, one always wants to ask: What would have been so bad about law school?"

Oh New York Times, you always know how to go straight to my heart.

And I'll TELL YOU. My hand hurt SO MUCH after a three-hour handwritten exam. I'll take floating in bathwater and then crying on national television over that.

One is Silver and the Other....

2006-05-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

Torts is DONE! That means we are halfway done with finals - - it CERTAINLY doesn't feel that way - it feels like we should be done NOW! Not forced to take another 10 credits worth of finals. Lame-o shmame-o. But, chug chug chug, all the way to the contracts bus - which will be leaving bright and early this Thursday. When broed of studying, I paid a visit to our friendly neighborhood law school bookstore and made a delicious purchase of a BRAND NEW FANCY SHMANCY LEGAL-LINE OUTLINE for Contracts! Awesome! Great! Studying will be so much better now! I am BOUND to get an A+++++++++ (plus. plus. plus).

In other news, Mr. David Blaine might die on national television tonight. Suddenly, Contracts became bunches more interesting and less death-y. I TOTALLY get seeing him in a fish tank every night at 2am; that's normal, almost makes me a cooler person. BUt I don't want to watch his death-palms turn into death-body. Of course, if anything horrible happens, I'll be deleting this paragraph because my WITTY BANTER is only entertaining when it's not true. But seriously, I hope nothing bad happens because it would SUCK to have to get rid of my comedic gold.

That Waiter Just Torted My Ass

2006-05-07T09:48:00.000-04:00

It's been a little bit of a Torts-a-thon of late which explains the lack of any posts of much merit and the derth of posts that are more like "hi! today i had a granola bar for breakfast! it was good. i had tuna for lunch! it was good. for dinner i have chili! it was good. i can't wait for tommorrow! it will be good."

I just can't wait until one and a half weeks from now, for our Weekend Of Fun! (four days between end of finals and start of writing competition). It'll be just like Senior Year except everyone's a little more pale, unhappy, drinking more straight liquor than "mixed drinks" and every few hours someone is going to throw in a prima facie case for SOMETHING they learned this year.

David Blaine report: still pruny, more lethargic. Went there last night and, after scowling at the poeple who dared to have a good time and smile and not be studying, David Blaine just sat around his tank like a Beta Fish.

David Blaine & the Snow Globe

2006-05-04T22:54:00.000-04:00

I walked past the David Blaine snow globe across the street and his hands were outside of the water and there were three people ON TOP of the snow globe doing something. I read somewhere that his hands & feet were getting painful because they've been pruny or whatever for so many days - apparently they are starting to slather vaseline on him to keep the skin from peeling off. All I want to know is how he's going to unchain himself from locks & keys at the end of the week with no palms. 'Cause everyone knows that you need workable palms to unchain yourself underwater.

Edit: I found a picture of his palms - yesterday - so they must be worse now. Oh MAN, mega-gross! WHY?!?

In other news, this clip of Tom Cruise dancing may or may not be the funniest thing I've seen IN A LONG TIME. It's hilarious with no sound becuase the movements are so awkward - but WITH sound you can hear everyone laughing at him, so it's really a toss up. Enjoy!

One Down!

2006-05-04T16:08:00.000-04:00

One town, three to go!!! Celebrating was sectionmater with a little pow wow for lunch & drinks, now it's back to work!! Next week, we've got Torts & Contracts up on the chopping block - gotta keep chugging!!!

No more gossip!

First Final.

2006-05-03T22:50:00.000-04:00

Twelve hours from now, I will be in the midst of my Civil Procedure final. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. :) I feel pretty good though, we'll see how this turns out tomorrow!

and this blog will get less live-journal-y post-finals. PROMISE.

Learnddddding!

2006-05-02T01:57:00.000-04:00

I HATE myself for saying it.

But I kinda like civil procedure.

Did you SEE that? Babe the Pig just flew to Hell to go skiing. And the Cubs won the World Series.

Fun With a Purpose!

2006-04-30T23:58:00.000-04:00

Three days ago, I purchased 4 highlighters. The pretty ones, with the retractable "pen-pushy mechanism." FANCY!

But, since I don't blog about a product unless I'm pissy-pants about it - um, I AM PISSY PANTS!

The only reason I would shell out 5 bucks for 4 highlighters is because of a guarantee of quality. A type of quality I've come to expect from "HI-LITER" highlighters. Also, a type of quality that is reinforced by a DRY-PROOF GUARANTEE

Resists drying out during normal use and when stored in a retracted position. If this product should dry out within six (6) months from the date of purchase we will gladly replace it for free. Please contact us with the product code at 1-800-GO-AVERY.

Six (6) months, eh? Unfortunately, I've only had the pleasure of these highlighters for three (3) days. Three (3) days of studying the likes of which the world ne'er has seen, but only three days! The purple was the first to go, by early Friday afternoon. Then went orange after a Saturday morning focus-a-thon. Between last night and today - pink and yellow are RIGHT OUT. Honestly.

Since I was able to enjoy one-point-seven-percent (1.7%) of my promised highlighting power, I AM MOST UNPLEASED. When the highlighters were not in use, I stored them in a retracted, upright position (with the tray tables up!). So, one of two things must be true:
1. Avery sold a defective product. PRODUCTS LIABILITY!
2. I am not normal.

So, the only thing to do - buy new highlighters - egads! I HAD to buy the highlighters that claimed "QUICK-DRYING, FLOURESCENT COLORS! increase information retrieval efficiency"

Well, thank you ACCENT highlighters -- I'm hoping you will not try out because I do NOT have a six (6) month warranty. But you DO promise increased information retrieval efficiency - and those are four (ad)verbs I like around finals time.

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy banana.
(i just needed one paragraph without the use of CAPS!)

Why this little shuffle will be the end of me....

2006-04-30T09:59:00.001-04:00

So, about a week ago, I finally got my ipod shuffle. And it's a great thing. GREAT THING. Except that I discovered podcasts. Every night, I load up my little guy with NPR, NYT & CNN newsy things. Which is fine and cute, because they each last about 2 minutes and I can quickly listen to them and go on to more important things (sleep!) But, like usualy, it didn't stop there.

As a way to get around pesky Con Law studying, I downloaded a bunch of Constitution Society lectures. IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME AS OUTLINING, right? Exactly the same.

And then I realized that Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect has the audio from the weekly shows. Mr. Bill has been my age-inappropriate crush for, say, the last 10 years - so of course I listen with gusto. Each episode is an hour, so, somehow, I keep myself awake until four getting all riled up about politics. NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD. This is almost as bad as when I discovered Sodoku three days before my Property final last semester.

At least this way, I get my often-inarticulate (um, Meghan/Abby/Suz can attest to my incoherent WE HAVE NO FREE WILL argument) views put into nice, bite-size soundbytes. Here's one that I literally had to get out of bed last night and write down because it was so ON POINT with the way I feel about the Christian right and as a Christian myself:

The Christian right are now officially the party of paranoia. “Secularists are attacking Christmas!” “Liberals are attacking values!” And the worst part is, the people bitching loudest about being persecuted about their Christianity aren’t Christians at all; they’re demagogues and con-men and scolds and the only thing they worship are power. If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war, or torture, or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants – then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

THAT'S what I've been trying to say for, you know, five years now.

Last....

2006-04-28T21:31:00.000-04:00

Last day of classes as a 1L. Kinda anti-climactic, but awesome nonetheless. Now it's only three weeks of finals, one week of law review competition and then I can start working all summer at my fancy job. So, you know, it's totally nothing. Just me and a beach and a bottle of booze. Boozehound.

But beyond self-pity-that-no-other-law-student-really-wants-to-hear-because-we're-all-in-the-same-boat --no more classes means PLENTY of hours to study! SCORE!

Civ pro is pretty much in the bag; I'm a little products liability away from being solid with Torts. So, somehow, I am actually relatively calm - fancy that. But, like most things, my mood changes on this topic about every five minutes.

Holy cow, I need a drink.

Hugh Grant [of temporary relief]

2006-04-27T01:25:00.000-04:00

So while the Merry Cashiers at Associated were ringing up my dinner and coffee purchases, I was off in a world far away from law school.

And then I looked at the total.

$13.67*

New slogan for "Love, Actually" : Civil Procedure is, actually, all around...

*Supplemental jurisdiction statute, for all you non-law-types.

I'm so excited! I'm so excited!!

2006-04-27T01:00:00.000-04:00

Time! Time!?! There's never any time!!!!!
one week until civ pro!

STAMPY!

2006-04-25T20:13:00.000-04:00

So I just got an awesome email from our dean. Apparently the law school, while not being able to produce a functioning central air system, found it in their hearts to give everyone a pair of FREE FLIP FLOPS. Pretty neat, huh? Neater still is the email our dean sent which MUST have been tounge-in-cheek. My favorite part, when describing his dream for the flip flops which are embossed on the bottom with our law school's name:

If you should find yourself on a beach at any point in the months ahead, please make sure that the imprint is stamped deeply and repeatedly into the sand. You will be doing your part to help spread the name [of our law school]. I would, of course, particularly appreciate it if you wear [law school] flip flops as you wear your [law school] centennial hat.

Which makes me think of only one thing....

We're Moving On UP!

2006-04-25T19:19:00.000-04:00

I'm rocking out to Ipod tunes because FedEx finally decided to drop it off, even though it's been chilling in Brooklyn since last Thursday. But whatever, 'cause it's 1/100th the size of my LAST ipod (read: my laptop). And we all know what happened after a semester of crazy jaunts with my laptop in my bag, rocking out to jazzy tunes on my large and unwieldy ipod.

In other news, I'm moving on to the perilous world of Torts. Not because CivPro is "in the bag" but because I can't look at any more of it for the time being. Final is in nine days, hopefully I'll get back into the mood once the final is actually here.

And, another reason to give up on Civ Pro for now? For whatever reason, I'm the number one google result for "Rule 12b6." Which is cool for like .2 seconds and then I remember that means I'm a nerd. A nerd of the LAW.

I will finance my high standard of living with Jeopardy winnings, not lawyer salary

2006-04-25T00:31:00.000-04:00

STUDY BREAK KIDDIES.
I just re-looked at the form I have to bring to Jeopardy qualification thingamajggy after finals and I have to think of FIVE FASCINATING FACTS to talk to Alex about. They're like "any kinds of intersting collections or hobbies." Ew, lame. Now, besides the obligatory "Let's see how we can insult Trebeck's mother" ideas, I need some goodies. Here is my list, so far. It's pretty much as successful as FINALS. HA!

1. I have a hole in my heart. My venticles kinda slosh my blood around, which makes my heart more like an amphibian's heart than a human heart. Twinnie likens it to having a BABOON HEART, but that's just crazy, it's a FROG heart. Get it straight, jeez.

2. I speak Polish, Italian and Spanish. And I'm going to try the perilous adventure of non-alphabet languages and teaching myself Mandarin this summer. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS ON MY RESUME.

3. My father once tried to pawn us off as "under 12" at Niagra Falls when we were going into our sophomore year in high school. And I was 5'7. Somehow, the cheap man gets away with this, but they give us the child size ponchos. So while everyone else there had navy blue ponchos that went to mid-thigh, Twinnie and I had to join the 5 years olds with the bright yellow ponchos that went to our waists, not even half way down our arms and were tight. Please see point number 1 for a complex that might have stemmed from this fiasco.

So, seriously, unless it consists of making fun of my childhood or heart, I have NOTHING. Unless I'm like "Listen, Trebeck, I have a totally awesome blog where I write words on your 'stache." So, obviously, I need to start a collection. And there is no better time for a collection that two weeks before finals. Currently, my collections are as follows:

Empty diet coke bottles I keep telling myself I will recycle
Used highlighters
Post-it note flags that flag nothing in particular

I AM GOING TO FAIL JEOPARDY.

Rain, Rain

2006-04-23T18:32:00.000-04:00

Thursday's near-80 degree temps have been washed away by the rain all weekend. That, and the IMPENDING DOOM OF FINALS. Friday night the Ghost Writer Gang all headed up to Dive 75 for what now I think can be interpreted as the final bruhaha before finals are over in celebration of Mark's belated birthday. And general need to get drunk. Mark taught me how to play Othello which, according to him has the tagline "Seconds to learn, lifetime to master" which I promptly changed "Minutes to learn, an hour to master." But that's totally understandable, because I AM a Jeopardy genius after all.

Alex & I went to McDonald's on our way back so I could pee and while we were there a 65 year old lady slash club promoter gave us REUSABLE BAIRD JONES NIGHTCLUB PASSES. I have no idea where this magical club is, who the heck Baird Jones is, but I know one thing - only cool kids get invited to clubs by the elderly.

The lady also was going on and on about Rosa Parks and how the State Of Mississippi gave her a post-mortum pardon. To which I responded with some 5 minute long diatrabe about how Plessy (from Plessy v Ferguson fame) was only 1/18 black and HOW COULD THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR HAVE KNOWN THAT and the only reason it was even brought to the Supreme Court was because of over-litigous lawyers. Um, I might be the coolest Constitution Team National Champion the world has ever seen. REALLY.

In other news, tomorrow begins the last week of my 1L year. And then begins something called "finals." Enough blogging, back to a little thing we like to call CivPro!!!

Links for a little diversion

2006-04-21T17:41:00.000-04:00

Eep! In two weeks Civ Pro final will HISTORY! That's means I gots to keep buckling down. But not before I give everyone a little something to smile about. Because that's what I like to do. And becuase it takes substantially less time than actually writing a post.

This week has been rocked by an SBA election scandel the likes of which the student body ne'er has seen. These guys have running commentary that is far better than anything I can explain. Overall, however, suffice to say there are FAR too many emails being sent about something that has FAR too little import. Especially since - HELLO - finals are in two weeks.

Twinnie has been harping about this documentary for about, I don't know, forever. It's called The Power of Nightmares and is apparently the most insightful political documentary out there. I still haven't been able to finish it (too many SBA election emails to read!) but what I've seen is good. I invite you to do the same.

I'm going to learn Chinese (Mandarin, I believe) this summer. 1 billion people can't be wrong!

I'm also going to learn how to drive.

Sorry for making every link about politics, but I must share one of the best lines (talking about America) from a recent Slate article. Arguing that Blair's rationale for supporting the US in Iraq was to make sure it was an international effort, not just America on its own, Geoffrey Wheatcroft makes the analogy: "You don't say: 'My big brother is a crazy kind of guy. On Saturday night he likes to get blind drunk and drive through town at 90. It would be more damaging to peace and security if he acted alone than if he had my support, so I'll go along with him for the ride.' Either Washington was doing something wise and virtuous, in which case it should have been supported for that reason, or not, in which case should have been restrained and, if necessary, opposed."

I'm kind of a big deal...

2006-04-19T21:10:00.000-04:00

Chalk it up to finals-induced self-doubt, but I'm THRILLED with my newly realized geniousity [if I want that to be a word, I can make it a word, because I'M JUST THAT SMART]. No, this has nothing to do with law school (because, obviously, the opposite conclusion would probably be the outcome). But something EVEN BETTER.

I got called back for the second round of Jeopardy qualification examing for NYC. I don't know how many people they invite back, but I like to think it's just me, the smartest person in Metro New York, and they're just double checking to make sure I don't have a large and unsightly goiter. Which would be awkward and Trebeck would TOTALLY flip out. Because the only people who are allowed to have unseemly growths on their face is Trebeck himself.

But yeah, I get to take another exam the Friday after finals are over. Thank goodness, because if it were before finals then I would have a horrible internal dilemma about whether to study con law or "Colors that End in 'urple." Obvi, 'urple would win.

Must stop basking in my own [ridiculously smart] sunshine and get back to studying. But, really, if I get called on in Civ Pro tomorrow, after I make a fool out of myself (like I am known to do) I'll just say "Suck it, [professor's last name]" Because as Greg told me tonight, I gots to practice!

And, in other news

2006-04-18T20:59:00.000-04:00

So this whole "school housing" thing has one [of many] pesky drawkback - they kick you out once finals are over. Of course, this is a problem when the writing competition starts five days after the last day of finals. Of course, they have a fancy form you have to fill out in order to stay through if you're a law student and want to do the writing competition. It was due today at noon [NO EXCEPTIONS!, the sign said]

I think you can see where I'm going with this.

I, beyond obviously, did not fill out said form. Who does that? Me! And, therefore, I will be living out of a plastic sack for five days, getting my drunk all night (no classes! no finals! no nothing!) and then finding a comfy gutter to sleep in. And then I will pick up my writing competition packet and go home (I am leaving early to get work at home away from any hyper-competitiveness here in the New York).

You know, sometimes I surprise myself, really.

And you thought I was done...

2006-04-18T00:51:00.000-04:00

Long story short, I had the most lovely and productive Easter weekend. Almost done outlining Civil Procedure --- just going to do a run through the ol' Emmanuels to see if things are a little more efficiently explained for checklist purposes. Because even though I love Mr. Glannon, he tends to be a bit verbose. And then it's just revising the darn thing. And remembering about the other three classes that I am taking this semester. But considering that a week ago I knew NOTHING, I am in good spirits.

Furthering my good spirits was the fact that the weekend was a great jump start to the next month - got to do a bunch of cooking (I made mushroom appetizers, cheesecake and some wierd strawberry mousse parfaits that I through vodka on because I JUST NEEDED TO MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING!). The weather was awesome, my mom bought an ipod shuffle for me (so awesome, should be coming in the next few days!) and I just was so productive! Did I mention I was productive?

The only thing that my parents could keep repeating were just how the next month and a half are the MOST IMPORTANT MONTH AND A HALF OF YOUR LIFE. Which might be true, what with 24 credits-worth of finals, law review writing competition, Mother's Day. Pretty big deal. But knowing that it's only 6 weeks is keeping the antsy pants at bay and I can keep chugging along.

I know what you're saying. TWO BORING LAW SCHOOL POSTS IN A ROW!? I want my fake monopoly banana money back. FINE. A little photo-essay, focusing on the classy models I get to stare at in the air, courtesy of SkyMall....

How do I keep so beautiful? With my handy air supply, that's how! This is some nice air.

You know what, I'm attractive too! Maybe I could use a little rouge, but I'm a important businesswoman! I don't have time for that! And how do I stay so attractive, why, with this Komfort Kollar, that's how! So comfortable! Ahhh! Nice!

I, on the other hand am not attractive. In fact, I look like a bloated Tim Russert. A Tim Russert with frosted tips. That's what they call "less than attractive." I am also a pervert who figured out a way to not have to wear pants on the damn airplane. So I created a sweatshirt sack for my body. Always thinking! About how to grope that pretty young flight attendant with my hand down my sack.Yea, that's nice. This sack is real nice.

I am le tired! I came from a crazy bender in Key West, judging from my fancy shirt, where I drove the young girls wild with my fashionable 'stache.
However, even the 'stache can't hide the fact that I look like an idiot. Not to mention the advertising exec who realized, after his OWN crazy bender in Key West that he needed a picture for the newest issue of SkyMall for this product and HE HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN BETWEEN THE MOJITOS AND CORONAS. Idiot! So, instead of losing his job (from the very prestigious company SkyMall truly is) he just snapped a picture of the goon next door who was so tired that putting his face on a large, inflatable lap pillow was more comfortable than living without dignity.

Le Weekend!

2006-04-15T11:56:00.000-04:00

So I'm spending Easter weeked in Chicago visiting the fam here. But really, too, to get a break from the Nueva York and approaching doom of finals. I've been far more productive here than I have been back in New York; outlining and, really, learning Civil Procedure. And it's going remarkably well, in fact. REMARKABLE. I was all set to just wash my hands of the subject and hope that I could spew some junk about Rule 12b6 and call it a day when the final was coming. BUT NO SUCH FEARS! Thanks to a certain Joseph Glannon, I've been teaching myself all about the Civ Pro. I've gone through Examples and Explanations over the past two days and will soon be starting on his "Glannon's Guide to Civil Procedure." Then after that, it's just a few practice tests and that one class should have the large brunt completed in terms of preparations.

Of course, that's to say nothing of Contracts, Torts and Con Law. But I'll take what I can get and it's still over three weeks until any of those finals start rearing their ugly heads, so it's should be okay. And, with the exception of Con Law, I'm in a pretty solid "understanding zone," so it isn't quite the uphill battle as CivPro.

Home is great for studying because I can read outside on the patio, everything is bright and clean and there is plenty of coffee for the drinking (free!). Also, twinnie has an ipod shuffle I've swiped for the weekend and he has remarkably good taste in music. So I've been rocking out to great tunes from BOTH earphones! (I've had to McGuyver my laptop's headphone jack with a highlighter and a rubber band because otherwise the sound just comes out of one ear. And that gives me an annoying one-sided headache).

Anyway, enough boring study update. Back to almost-interesting civ pro studying!

Just Knock It Off, Consumer Culture.

2006-04-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

So, big surprise, I like to read the SkyMall catalogue whenever I take a trip. And, as I DID awaken in the Windy City this morning, I did some traveling yesterday. And SkyMall FAILED to disappoint!

As a lifeguard at a country club for three years, I guarantee some kid name Connor or Olivia would have carried this in. And we would tell them that remote-controlled sharks were against the rules. And then they would cry to their mom, who was enjoying her 11am glass of white zin on the patio. And then she would come over to the lifeguard stand and tell us to mind our own business and IF AIDLLYN WANTS A SHARK IN THE POOL SHE WILL GET A GOSH DARN SHARK. And then the kid would take a dump in the pool. Becuase that's what happens.
Buy Me! I am a shark! I have a propeller for a tail!

I like to lie in bed! I like to sit in bed too, but sometimes that is too hard!

AWESOME! PERFECT! Now I will never leave!
Oh, STAIN RESISTENT SUEDE?!? Luxury and convinience! Where is my glass of white zin?

Look at me! I am a small and stupid child! WHY IS THERE AN IMAGINARY FORCEFIELD NOT LETTING ME INTO THE HOUSE!! Even with my jaunty baseball mit!?!? Let me in! Let me in!
Must. Push. Harder. Mommy! Put down your chalace of white zin and LET ME IN!

Disgusting!!

2006-04-11T00:07:00.000-04:00

I know -- ANOTHER angry curmudgeony complaint letter. But this time, it was more than just not having a Shamrock Shake. It was more than a limp pickle. It was DIRT on my frozen strawberries!! That's just gross. So I sent an angry letter to Dole that reads as follows:

I had eaten some stawberries after heating them from the microwave. After about 5, I ate one that looked darker than the rest of them, thinking that it was simply a natural color discrepency. In fact, after chewing it, I realized it was no such discrepency but in fact DIRT. The taste and sandiness made me sure of it. It made me sick to my stomach to think that I had consumed a mouthful of dirt especially after I paid extra for the name brand and trust I had in Dole. Very dissapointed!

I blame all my hyper-sensitive product complainy on Torts and us focusing on product liability right now. But SERIOUSLY, dirt on my strawberries!! So gross. So gross! I had damn well better get some free stawberries out of this deal, for me to enjoy with my free pickles. Until then, though, I am boycotting all Dole products. Which, obviously, is like nothing because I don't drink pineapple juice or eat bananas. But still! Boycott!

Success!!!

2006-04-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

In my slow descent into madness, I emailed the pickle company (Vlasic!) and complained about a jar of pickles I purchased over the weekend. I was all set to have a delicious pickle this morning (breakfast of phallic champions!) and was looking forward to the tell-tale Vlasic CRUNCH. Instead, I was met with a limp "mlech" because the pickle was icky and soft. What a horrible way to start the day!! So I did what anyone would do, I sent a strongly worded letter to the Vlasic Pickle Company to inform them of my disappointment and hatred for their fair cucumbers. And what was I greeting with upon returning from Contracts??? That’s right -an apology email and a word of a free pickle coupon to arrive in my mailbox in no more that 14 days!! Mon success!!! Kudos, Vlasic pickles, for knowing the true meaning of customer service. Too bad I can't say the same for Debbie over at McDonalds.

Past Week, by the numbers

2006-04-09T20:40:00.000-04:00

1: Number of caffeinated drinks consumed this weekend. One step at time, trying to lower tolerance so that I don't have to do the whole IV caffeine drip once finals come closer.
2: Numbers of hairs found in my Chinese food this evening. Dead to me: Wok City
3: Courses of delicious dinner Alex and I cooked on Friday. On the menu: Warm Arugula Salad with Garlic Croutons, Tilapia with Chile Lime Butter, Eggplant with Basil and Lime and Green Poblano Rice and Strawberry Frozen Yogurt with Stawberries!
4: Weeks until we will be half-way through finals. AH! AH! AH!
5: People at brunch on Saturday morning at Isabella's : My Nonno, cousin, her husband and their baby boy, Benjamin. And me!
6: Bottles of wine consumed by 8 of us on "OC & Vino" night. This was us excercising "moderation" becuase we really wanted to have a bottle each. But we're mature, non-alcoholic adults.
7: Days until Easter!
8: Number of separate fantasy baseball-type tournaments I am participating in. Most procrastination for outlining!
9: Times, in desperation, wanted to scream out "I HATE LAW SCHOOL" but realized that it woud solve 0 problems. But I still hate law school, especially civil procedure! Ew!
10: Points, out of 10, David Gilmour concert recieves. The second half, especially, was AMAZING and I got to catch up with a great friend in the process. Thanks again, Jimbo!

An Open Letter to Joseph W. Glannon

2006-04-04T19:08:00.000-04:00

First of all, if you aren't a law student, this might not make so much sense. But, as background, Mr. Glannon is the author an assortment of highly recommended study guides for Civil Procedure and Torts.

Dear Joseph "W." Glannon,

Thank you for your omnipresent series of books to help me in my preparation for Civil Procedure and Torts. Especially Civil Procedure. I mean, seriously, without you I wouldn't know Rule 12(b)(2) from a hole in the wall. You're great! Ten points!

But just one thing.

You're so snarky! I know you think you're probably being funny. I'm sure you're a real classy guy, a guy who likes to joke and drink martinis and light cigars with hundred dollar bills because every law student in the nation buys your books. But after slaving away at a hypo from one of your books, talking about the possible joinder rules and "what about diversity jurisdiction?" and all sorts of possibilities which inevitably result in the answer "The court will have the balance the interests of the plaintiff against the interests of the defendent" which is SO CLEARLY not the answer you were looking for --- after all that, you sass us up by writing the first line of your answer as "This is an easy one!" or "Obviously, the jury should find Acme liable for her full damages."

Seriously. If it was so obvious, would it even be necessary to have it waste space in your leather-bound book? If it was so easy, why must you rub it in and instead allow us to bask in our hypothetical glory. But no, you don't let us off easy but insist on some sass. Sass makes the world go round? NO. Sass does NOT make the world go round. Sass makes the study group go sad. Or at least have a long laugh. And then quietly, alone, after study group, we go home and are sad. But either way, no good.

And even if we DID get the answer right, why trounce on our happiness with your golden boot of reality? Said golden boot will kick and stomp us IN DUE TIME (i.e. the final). But now? In April? Not necessary. Blissful ignorance, that's how I like to roll.

So this much I ask of you, dear sir: in your next edition, cut out the sass. I still like your corny jokes and clever names like "Quarles" who keeps suing the city. That's nice, that's cute, that makes me feel better about myself. But using words like "certainly" "obviously" and "clearly" just remind us of some of the people in our section we love to hate. And if there's anything you DON'T want to reach for, it's any analogy to those types.

Thank you for your time,
Anna Banana

An Open Letter to the Makers of the Fake Ziplock Cold Cut Bags from the Deli

2006-04-03T00:18:00.000-04:00

Dear makers of the fake Ziplock cold cut bags from the deli,

Really. Would it kill you to make a bag with a zip-locking mechanism that works?? No matter how hard I try, aligning each plastic ridge to its God-ordained position, it refused to remain closed! I start on one end, baby steps - when my thumbs and index fingers registering something of a "click," I move on another millimeter. Forward, I toil, until I am at the end of the bag, a small ridge of sweat gathering on my furrowed brow. I step back, glance at my handiwork AND THE ENTIRE BAG IS STILL GAPING OPEN, allowing air to inflitrate the precious precious sliced turkey. And there is nothing worse than dried out turkey.

You think I'm just unnaturally unskilled at closing your magic bag? Well, let's look to the PROFESSIONAL ziplock bag-closers - the deli employees themselves. Their attention to detail, weighing my sliced pepperjack cheese, adding an extra thin slice when the weight only registers .23 pounds - and then ripping off half when it gets bumped up to an unGodly .28. Seriously, thank you deli man for your quality control. BUT DO YOU SIT THERE AND TRY TO CLOSE THE ZIPLOCK BAG??? No. Instead, you use your fancy weight and price sticker to fold the bag closed, a little pocket of delicious goodness.I know it would behoove me to, when first opening my delicious lunch meat, to gently lift the sticker and re-affix it to maintain an ironclad seal. Unfortunately, when I am ready to make a delicious sandwich, I will WASTE NO SUCH TIME and rip quickly into my bag of food. And there the plastic sticker lies, torn apart in a hungry fury. And no longer useful.

I'm not asking for much. I am asking for a bag that is resealable, efficient and airtight. Like your mom. Not a bag that is flimsy and useless. Like your dad.

Love & kisses
Anna Banana

Song Picks for April

2006-04-02T16:59:00.000-04:00

The ONE good thing about studying a lot is that I get to discover a lot of new music through Yahoo MusicMatch. Although I love Musicmatch and tell all my friends who don't have ipods (you know, those two people) to get it because, although it's awesome, it isn't compatible with ipods. Unfortunately, I recently learned that you can't transfer your music even to a non-ipod mp3 player without spending an ADDITIONAL 10 dollars a month to get the subscription to Yahoo ToGo. Still, if I download more than 15 songs a month and try to transfer then to my nonexistant mp3 player, it's still cheaper than itunes' rate of 99 cents a song. But still, yahoo's getting more expensive, lame.

Anway, without further ado, song picks for April!

1. Hurt -Johnny Cash : I saw Walk the Line the other day and it was SO GOOD. I rediscovered a lot of older Johnny Cash stuff that I had downloaded my freshman year of college but had long since forgotten about. Still, this song is a song that whenever it comes I have to stop what I'm doing and just listen.
2. Insatiable - Darren Hayes : Fair enough, this popped up on my music station because I'm "a fan of Peter Cetera." So FINE, I have a little smattering of lame music in my collection. Sue me.
4. Accused of Stealing - The Delgados
5. The Flat Earth - Thomas Dolby : Longer song, highly recommended as a studying tune.
6. Sun Shines Where You Are - Sam Bisbee
7. The Suggestion Box - Aqueduct
8. Amore Veneris - Arab Strap : Another slow, long song. Love it.
9. The Postman - The American Analog Set : I always love it when there's a little bit of band chitchat during the first few seconds of a song. Predictably, this song employs that technique.
10. Under the Milky Way - The Church : You know how songs "bring you back" to a certain time, like if you listen to a Gin Blossoms song, your brain transports itself into 7th period Italian class. Well, this song gives me that feeling about a time I CAN'T IDENTIFY but, at the same time, I know I hadn't heard ever before the first time I heard it last week. Anyway, it's still a good song even if it doesn't give audio dejavu.

If you noticed I skipped a number, 10 points. It's my little way of celebrating Daylight Savings Time.

Full Steam Ahead on the S.S. Failure?

2006-03-31T18:23:00.000-05:00

I feel like I hit some sort of large brick wall within the last week as far as "law school" goes. Putting my mind around the fact that April is almost here and, with that, finals is a little striking and stressful, at best. Everyone I've talked to is in the same boat, so, we're all currently conspiring how to steer the boat with the maximum amount of alcohol running through our systems. When I was in Boston a few weeks ago and was at a friend's house and, when offered a glass of wine, said "Yes, PLEASE!" a BU Law kid said "Obviously, you're a law student." How true, how true.

Good Thing #1, though: FANTASY BASEBALL (and, with it, real baseball) is starting on Sunday. I'm pleased with my team, so far. There are 15 people in the league, so it was a little rough trying to get solid players in the later rounds of the draft, but I can't complain. We'll see how well the team turns out after a few weeks of the season get under way. Because I like making lists, though, I'm listing my baseball team. LISTS. LISTS. LISTS.

Real-world MLB prediction: The Cubs will either end up last in their division or win the World Series. Obviously, I'm rooting for the latter.

Pink Penguins; Banana Invitational, 2006
M. Barrett
M. Teixeira
B. Mueller
V. Castilla
J. Uribe
H. Matsui
A. Rowand
J. Gomes
T. Helton
T. Hafner
O. Hudson
D. Eckstein
J. Pierre
J. Smoltz
R. Clemens
D. Davis
J. Iringshausen
C. Reitsma
J. Vazquez
K. Calero
R. Madson
J. Marquis
D. Cabrera
T. Ohka

Sorry Team

2006-03-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

Comment moderation is back on.

Tuesday Tuesday, Linksday Linksday

2006-03-28T00:03:00.000-05:00

Procrastinating Con Law reading, will share bounty of links for you, friends.

TONIGHT! (for our East Coast readership) sign up to take the Jeopardy! online qualification exam. Midwest/West Coast are tomorrow and the next day. Even if you don't make it, it might be FUN to dream of ways to insult Trebeck with quips about his mother.

Hey Rochester kids who I know read this [religiously] The freshmen are getting restless!! And making videos to document aformentioned restlessness.

Move over John Krasinski, I want to marry YOU Ditty Man!

Don't worry, law school friends, I have videos for you too! (Two! For twice the fun! But mainly because both, individually, are kind of lame. But together, the amass one non-lame video. Like the UR one!)

John Kerry wants a lot of things. I like how his assistant refers to him as "JK." It's like how Mary-Kate Olsen's friends' call her "MK." Except JK is WAY more presidential.

And, becuase it would be crazy not to end this on a political note, Why You Should Be Pro-Choice!

I'm a fishmonger, not a law student!

2006-03-27T14:01:00.000-05:00

Apologies, again, dear readers for being lame and not updating. But I promise, this week, I will be ON TOP OF THINGS. Now, WHY have I been MIA? No, not some fancy pants vacation, not a great increase in productivity, not a week-long cocaine and whiskey-fueled bender. Nope, none of the above, thanks for asking. Instead, I have been ADDICTED to something far more dangerous.

A game called Fish Tycoon.

Essentially, you are a fish breeder. Starting with a small smattering of fish (three or four breeds) you impregnate them with one another (Incest is Best!) until you find the (JAZZ HANDS!) Magic Fish. After some 80 hours of game play - I have found 7/8 of the magic fish. Which is quite nice, quite nice. Unfortunately, the constant feeding, cleaning and selling of my small harem of fishies has taken some time away from blogging. BUT NO MORE. I am only allowing myself a single hour of fish breeding a day. More time for blogging. And law school.

BeanTown

2006-03-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

Things I learned about New York City through a Boston Case Study:

1. Boston guys are infinitely more attractive than New York City guys. I was on the "T" on my way to my friends' house and there was NOT an unattractive man in the entire subway car. Everyone looked like they stepped out of an Abercrombie ad, what with their popped collars and Red Sox caps and all. New York City, on the other hand, you're lucky if you can find someone who's wearing a shirt and not talking to themselves.

2. Boston bars close bloody early. The first bar we were at, ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY NO LESS, closed at 1. ONE A.M. Who does that? The second bar, the one that's open "late" closed at 2. How was I supposed to break into spontaneous Irish jigs if the bars don't stay open at least until Witching Hour?

3. My quest for the elusive Shamrock Shake has ended in the fair state of Massachusettes. There were no fewer than THREE ShamShake opportunities in the span of four hours. (I only had one, for reals). Manhattan, on the other hand, dead to me. At least when it comes to Shamrock Shakes.

4. The "T" stops every four feet. We walked to one stop. The "T" didn't come. Then we walked two blocks to another stop ON THE SAME LINE (just to kill some time in the cold). We got on the T. Three blocks later, another stop. And this wasn't even in Boston proper. Bostonites don't like walk. Of course, I've been known to walk from Murray Hill to the Upper West Side in a drunken stupor (on occasion).

5. DID I MENTION BOSTON HAS SHAMROCK SHAKES?

March Mayhem!

2006-03-16T20:38:00.000-05:00

The title refers to the non-copywritten way every other basketball tournament (high school, non-D1 college, etc) refers to the playoffs right about now. Fascinating fact: the IHSA (Illinois High School Athletics) originally used the term March Madness and then the NCAA bought the rights for that phrase because it's just SO CATCHY!

I'm currently in the middle pack of both the pools I'm participating in --- one is with fellow law students, the other with a pack of sorority girls. Obviously, I'm doing better in the sorority pool, but only time will tell if my UNC over Duke matchup will pan out and give me the recognition and accolades that I deserve. ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

This week has been a BLAST so far --- spring break in New York has been a bit chilly,but the nights have been fun with an emphasis on drinking away the cold - the only solution. I'm heading over to Boston tomorrow morning to celebrate St. Patrick's Day weekend in style -- it should be a good time. Maybe I'll even get to drink with Niki becuase, even though she's come to NYC like a hundred times IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. Outrageous!

In terms of ALL the outlining and studying I was supposed to do this week, not so much. I work about 4 hours a day of solid workiness and then spend the rest of my day catching up on all the Very Important Television on MTV, sleeping and drinking (hopefully not alone). But, really, let's be serious - I wasn't really expecting this to be the most productive week ever, no?

This weekend might be a little sparse (kinda like this past week) in terms of the ol' blog --- but that will change once I start REALLY needing to procrastinate (cough cough, finals quickly approaching).

Oh man, GW is making a HUGE comeback in the final ten minutes -- GO GO GO!

Site update

2006-03-14T14:21:00.000-05:00

So I updated the way you can do comments on this here blog to make it a little more user-friendly and a little less blogger-lame-o. Only problem - previous comments still exist of the "post as its own page" part, but on the main page, it looks like no one commented. Not a bit glitch, new comments will be showing up normally, but for now, don't stress if your fabulous, amazing comments seem like they are lost.
Let me know if there are any problems that you might come across, but I believe it should check out just fine.

Debbie Neither Delivers, Nor Does Dallas

2006-03-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

So, folks. I finally got a response from McDonald's regarding my ill-fated experience trying to find a Shamrock Shake. Ahem...

Hello Anna:

Thank you for contacting McDonald's to share your recent experience at one of our restaurants. On behalf of McDonald's USA, please accept my sincere apology for your dissatisfaction.

I'm sorry to hear that the McDonald's restaurant you visited was out of Shamrock Shake.

Please be assured that your comments are important to us and have been shared with the franchise owner. Your complete satisfaction is our top priority. Therefore, I am certain that appropriate action will be taken immediately.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald's. We look forward to serving you for many years to come.

Debra
McDonald's Customer Response Center

Things that Debbie and her poorly worded form letter do not give me: 1) information about where to find my nearest Shamrock Shake provider. 2) coupons with which to purchase, on Corporate, a Shamrock Shake if and when I do encounter one. 3) [and most importantly] a shamrock shake.

THANKS DEBBIE. FOR NOTHING!

Weekend, redux

2006-03-12T17:18:00.000-05:00

Sooo, it's Sunday. This weekend was just lovely. The weather was AMAAAAZING, especially Friday. Meghan had a wine tasting, which turned into a wine drinking which turned into a "let's go play beer pong at the bar which scored the lowest in the latest city health inspection." Classy broads, we were. The afternoon hovered around 75 degrees (crazy!) and I spent a good chunk of it making appetizers for Meghan's fete. Two kinds of bruschetta and quesadillas with butternut squash and red peppers. Yum. Yum. Yum. Like I almost let slip to my Civ Pro professor at lunch Friday -- I wish I could drop out of law school and just cook sometimes.

BUT NO. There is work to be done. Work of the finals-are-coming-up variety. Not so much stressed yet, but in a month, I will be. Right now focusing on outlining for contracts, the class with the highest number of credits. The goal is to be finished outlining by the end of the week for that class. If that doesn't happen, I can GUARANTEE the stress level will increase ten-fold.

Oral arguments were earlier this week. Went up against fellow-partier Miss Grace. Everyone did well and it reminded me about how much I really like speaking on my feet and arguments and debate and things like that. It almost made me want to try out for moot court, but one step at a time. First must pass all classes, then can dilly dally worry about extra-curriculars.

So that's the start to my lame-o spring break, sorry I can't regale you with stories a la Girls Gone Wild - or at least like the showtime cruise last year. The week is young, my pretties, and there are plenty of night during which craziness will most likely ensue, no woories.

Recipe!!!!

2006-03-09T11:58:00.000-05:00

Thanks to a fabulous law school friend, I have the RECIPE for a SHAMROCK SHAKE - the Shamrock Shake about which I cried myself to sleep the last few nights, thinking I would never taste the sweet elixer. BUT NO!!! McDonald's is not a better cook than moi and, therefore, I can make my own darn ShamShake. Of course, it won't come in the fancy paper cup or the extra-wide straw - but these are details I can deal with. So, here, dear readers who perhaps also have similar fears of living ShamShake-less --- a recipe for Shamrock Shakes!

2 scoops vanilla ice cream
1.25 cups 2% milk
0.25 tspn mint extract
8 drops green food coloring

Enjoy!!