Bananas go to law school, too!


Leftie Loosie

Alas! I awoke Thursday morning with the same feeling in my throat that I did four days before The Plague two weeks ago. Afraid of having to go through the whole ordeal again, I decided to tame the beast before it could rear its ugly head in the form of "no ability to swallow" and "general crappiness." So, I headed to the trusty Cold Aid aisle at CVS and stocked up. Now, I am SO IMMUNE (knock on wood) from any and all diseases. Or so I like to believe. My current regimen:

2 zinc tablets, twice a day
4 vitamin C tablets, twice a day
gargle with listerine, every 4 hours
gargle with hydrogen peroxide, every 4 hours (on alternating two hour cycles with the listerine)
Airborne Jr., 2 tablets three times a day (I like the Jr. version because it's fake-grape flavored - one of the best flavors known to man)
Zithromax antibiotics, 2 tablets once a day

If anyone else has any other ideas, let me know. Because after 1 FULL DAY of this regiment, my throat still feels exactly the same; slightly scratchy. And Leftie the Tonsil is ANGRY again (read: covering the left side of my throat) and I'm half-convinced I should just drink half the bottle of Goldschlager in the freezer and cut the sucker out. Because Leftie needs to f*cking RELAX.

Oh, and there's a 40-45% chance I might be living in Rochester this summer. Save me. SAVE ME!