Bananas go to law school, too!


SHAM shake

Emphasis on "sham." Yesterday, after a morning where I was MOST hungover, I decided the only thing that quench my thirst for not-beer would be a delicious Shamrock Shake, the same Shamrock Shake I mentioned just two posts ago. Clearly, I am a fan.

You know who's not a fan???? New York City!

After class, it was decided that today would be the day of the Shamrock Shake. I entered the Golden Arches with but one need: the delicious minty-fresh nectar.


Front counter lady looked at me as if I was crazy when I explained to her "Yes, vanilla. But green. With mint." Clearly, if one needs to explain to the counterperson the ingredients of a Shamrock Shake YOU WILL NOT BE ENJOYING A SHAMROCK SHAKE UPON EXITING.

And, because it was a Lenten Friday, I couldn't even drown my sorrows in Chicken Nuggs dunked in honey mustard. Which, now that I do the math, I haven't had in about a year. Which is a travesty.

Back to the hunt for a ShamShake. I returned home, tired and sans sugar high. I decided to move my quest to the World Wide Web in hope of coming across some information about the elusive Shamrock Shake. To NO AVAIL. The McDonald's website may have a "search for a store" button. But it does not have a "search for a participating shamshake store" button. OUTRAGEOUS.

So, I decided to funnel my rage into a Strongly Worded Letter to the McDonald's establishment. Or, as a Certain Contracts Professor would say, "The Man."

As sent circa 1Pm on March 3, 2006

To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing as a concerned McDonald's customer. As a practicing Catholic, I decided to celebrate the Lenten season with a meatless Shamrock Shake at your fine establishment. Upon reaching the counter, I inquired about the status of the Shamrock Shake machine at the store. I was met with little more than a blank stare. Upon explaining the details of the delicous Shamrock Shakes, it's peculiar coloring and mellow minty taste, I was left further disapointed -- your sales representative could neither serve me a Shamrock Shake nor direct me towards the nearest participating McDonald's.

Needless to say, I was most disappointed. I had to leave the Golden Arches without having enjoyed the sweet nectar of shamrocks.

Please, at your earliest convinience, let me know where I may purchase said Shamrock Shake at full retail value. I live in Manhattan, but I am willing to travel to Brooklyn, Queens or -dare I say it- the Bronx in order to quench my thirst.

Warmest Regards,
Anna [Last Name], Esq.

I have not yet received a response.