Bananas go to law school, too!


I usually think these are a horrible waste of time, for blogger and reader alike. But I thought this was HILARIOUS and random and I'm nothing if not a fan of things hilarious and random :)
Essentially, the name of the game is google your name followed by the word "needs." So, in my fabulous case, I googled "Anna needs." Top 10 search results:

1. Anna needs to be excused from class today. please mention this to my property professor. tuesday morning, i was running RIDICULOUSLY late. And my professor has this nasty habit of recording tardies and absences (absences really only if he notices, but tardies he ALWAYS notices and jots down). Somehow this is all supposed to "factor" into our final grade. So, instead of walking in a good twenty minutes late, I decide to camp out outside until our "5 minute coffee break c. 10am). I know our professor uses Staircase C to get to the professor lounge to refill his cup, so I thought it would be safe to hide in the hallway opposite that stairway. So, I start seeing everyone begin to scamper out of the classroom - and I begin my slow meandering towards the classroom. AND WHO IS WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS ME?? My professor. Apparently, this is the one day he chooses an Alternate Route to get his coffee. I see him. He sees me. I consider ducking into one of the classrooms and pretending like I have a magical twin sister who he saw and it was not, in fact, me. But decide quickly against it because I'm just not clever enough to keep it up. "Ms. Lastname?" "Hello Professor Lastname." "Rough morning?" Here, I consider all types of excuses - standard subway/alarm clock/car troubles or something entirely off the chart. Of course, I'm not a Quick Thinker so it just looks like I am smiling awkwardly at the man as he walks past me. A good six seconds later, as I've turned completely around so as to maintain awkward eye contact, not saying anything, I respond "Yes, rough morning. I didn't want to disturb, you know, the class - you know, walking in really late, you know." Classic. To which he responds "Well, isn't it better this way?" Well, if you mean this was the only way we could have had this awkward exchange, then YES it is MUCH better this way.
2. Anna needs to find a toilet Let's be serious. You can't drink as much coffee as I do each day and this NOT be applicable.
3. Anna needs a fan club too! That statement implies I do not already have a fan club. And that is clearly not the case. Let's be serious.
4. Anna needs a feeling of success Talk to me in exactly a week. And I will whole-heartedly agree. Property final is in a week, balls almighty.
5. it simply was "Anna needs! Anna needs!" but under the webpage title "Was our adoption a mistake?" I cannot believe such a website exists. Hilarious in concept, horrifying in execution.
6. Anna needs to come back from that spy competition I can just SEE two parents sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for this "anna" to come home - the father POUNDING his fist on the table, "If I told you once, I've told you a million times....ANNA NEEDS TO COME BACK FROM THAT SPY COMPETITION!"
7. Anna needs you How sweet. And true. Because Anna needs you. You know who you are [ooooohhhhh, myyyyysteeeerioussss!]
8. Anna needs $140 dollars by September 4. I would take 14 dollars by December 14th, if that's better for you. REALLY. SEND MONEY.
9. Anna needs whatever sense of humor works for her. If that's not the most applicable thought EVER to grace this here blog, I don't know what is.
10. Anna needs whatever drugs work for her. Caffiene, Unisom, Dayquil, Melatonin, Vitamin C, Alcohol. That'll do. That'll do.