Kinkos & FedEx Stink

So, after a day of Many Fears and Frightening Moments, and still not being anywhere close to being done with anything associated with the writing competition, I decide to take a study break to make doubly-sure that I have all my supplies and things for tomorrow afternoon's printing and mailing BONAAAAANZA. Manilla envelopes, staples, ink injector for ink cardtridges; CHECK CHECK AND CHECK.

So I call the local Kinkos FedEx place to make sure that the magical tracking number on my Package of Law Journal Hope will (a) track what time a package was sent and (b) will be able to track a package that was sent after business hours. The guy on the other end of the line CLEARLY has no idea what he is talking about.

Act I

[Welcome to Kinkos, etc etc]
Me: I just want to make sure that the tracking number FedEx gives me will record the time the package is sent.
Mr. Kinko: What is your tracking number?
Me: No, no, I just want to make sure that's a service FedEx offers.
Mr. Kinko: Well, if you pay by credit card, you can verify the time you paid for it.
Me: Well, shouldn't the tracking number tell me what time the package was sent?
Mr. Kinko: You can tape a copy of your receipt to your package.
-Seriously, Martha Stewart?!?!? -
Me: But the tracking number won't have that information?
Mr. Kinko: Well, if you need me to, I can call 1-800-GO-FEDEX and check.
Pause.
Me: Oh no, you've been more than helpful. click.

Sigh, I am going to go ahead and call FedEx myself because I don't so much "trust" Mr. Kinko.

Act II

[Dial 1 for English, etc etc etc]
Me: I am trying to figure out if the tracking number would have the time a package was sent.

Mrs. FedEx: What is your tracking number?
Me: I have no tracking number. I did not send a package.
Mrs. FedEx: You can access your tracking number online.
Me: No, no, I'm talking hypothetically here. If I WERE to send a package with FedEx [seriously doubting the wiseness of that plan now..] would the recipient have access to the time the package was sent when they recieve it.

Mrs. FedEx: Well, it depends on the service you choose, we can do next day mail. Or three day mail.
Sigh
Me: Okay. I have a deadline tomorrow at 7PM. If I send a package before 7PM, will there be any way for the person who gets it to know that I have sent it by the deadline?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, the package will have a tracking number.
Me: But does that tracking number have the time the package was sent?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, you can access your tracking number online at www.FedEx.com
Sigh
Me: And would that show when the package was sent?
Mrs. FedEx: Well, yes....
Oh, is it that obvious, really, that it needed to take seven minutes and all I wanted was a human being to tell me that NO you will not fail the law review game by sending your ream of paper to Sir Law Review via FedEx. Thank you.

Fin

And I still have NO IDEA whether FedEx will let me send a package after business hours (say, 5:59:59PM CDT) and timestamp it as such. Because everyone at FedEx is a moron. Does anyone out there in the grand internet know?