Bananas go to law school, too!

4.30.2006

Fun With a Purpose!

Three days ago, I purchased 4 highlighters. The pretty ones, with the retractable "pen-pushy mechanism." FANCY!

But, since I don't blog about a product unless I'm pissy-pants about it - um, I AM PISSY PANTS!

The only reason I would shell out 5 bucks for 4 highlighters is because of a guarantee of quality. A type of quality I've come to expect from "HI-LITER" highlighters. Also, a type of quality that is reinforced by a DRY-PROOF GUARANTEE

Resists drying out during normal use and when stored in a retracted position. If this product should dry out within six (6) months from the date of purchase we will gladly replace it for free. Please contact us with the product code at 1-800-GO-AVERY.

Six (6) months, eh? Unfortunately, I've only had the pleasure of these highlighters for three (3) days. Three (3) days of studying the likes of which the world ne'er has seen, but only three days! The purple was the first to go, by early Friday afternoon. Then went orange after a Saturday morning focus-a-thon. Between last night and today - pink and yellow are RIGHT OUT. Honestly.

Since I was able to enjoy one-point-seven-percent (1.7%) of my promised highlighting power, I AM MOST UNPLEASED. When the highlighters were not in use, I stored them in a retracted, upright position (with the tray tables up!). So, one of two things must be true:
1. Avery sold a defective product. PRODUCTS LIABILITY!
2. I am not normal.

So, the only thing to do - buy new highlighters - egads! I HAD to buy the highlighters that claimed "QUICK-DRYING, FLOURESCENT COLORS! increase information retrieval efficiency"

Well, thank you ACCENT highlighters -- I'm hoping you will not try out because I do NOT have a six (6) month warranty. But you DO promise increased information retrieval efficiency - and those are four (ad)verbs I like around finals time.

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy banana.
(i just needed one paragraph without the use of CAPS!)